Most people can spot someone with poor social skills when it’s obvious—things like interrupting too much or talking only about themselves. But not all signs of weak social skills are that easy to notice.
Some men struggle socially in ways that fly under the radar. They might think they’re doing just fine, but small habits and behaviors can make others feel uncomfortable, frustrated, or disconnected from them.
Psychology helps us understand these subtle signs—things that don’t scream “socially awkward” but still make interactions feel a little off. And once you recognize them, you start seeing them everywhere.
Here are 10 non-obvious signs a man has below-average social skills, according to psychology.
1) They don’t notice when others are bored or disengaged
Some men struggle in conversations without even realizing it. One of the biggest signs of below-average social skills is an inability to pick up on subtle cues—like when someone is bored, distracted, or just trying to exit the conversation.
Good social skills aren’t just about talking; they’re about reading the room. If someone keeps checking their phone, giving short responses, or looking around the room, it’s a clear sign they’re not fully engaged.
But socially unaware men often miss these signals and keep talking as if nothing is wrong.
As Carl Rogers, one of the most influential psychologists in humanistic psychology, once said: “When someone really hears you without passing judgment on you, without trying to take responsibility for you, without trying to mold you, it feels damn good.”
That’s what socially skilled people do—they listen, they observe, and they adjust based on how the other person is reacting. But when a man lacks this skill, conversations can feel one-sided and exhausting for everyone else.
2) They give way too much detail when telling a story
I used to know a guy—let’s call him Jake—who would tell the longest stories imaginable. What should have been a quick, funny anecdote turned into a five-minute deep dive into irrelevant details. Conversations with him felt like a test of patience.
The problem wasn’t just that he talked a lot—it was that he didn’t realize what details mattered and what didn’t. He’d explain exactly what he was wearing that day, where he parked his car, and what song was playing in the background before even getting to the point.
By the time he finally did, most people had already mentally checked out.
Psychologist Daniel Kahneman, known for his work on decision-making and cognitive biases, once said: “Thinking is to humans as swimming is to cats; they can do it, but they’d prefer not to.”
In other words, people don’t want to work hard to follow a simple story. If you make them sift through unnecessary details, they’ll lose interest fast.
Socially skilled people get this—they keep things concise, focus on what’s interesting, and know when to wrap it up. But when a man lacks this skill, his stories feel more like endurance tests than engaging conversations.
3) They don’t realize when they’re making people uncomfortable
Some men have no idea when they’ve crossed a line. They’ll crack an off-color joke, stand just a little too close, or overshare personal details with someone they barely know—and they won’t notice the awkward silence that follows.
I’ve seen it happen too many times. A guy makes a joke that clearly doesn’t land, yet he keeps laughing while everyone else shifts uncomfortably. Or he presses someone for personal details they’re not ready to share, completely oblivious to the tension rising in the room.
The brutal truth? If you never stop to ask yourself, “Is this appropriate for the situation?” then you might be the problem.
Sigmund Freud once said: “Being entirely honest with oneself is a good exercise.” And that’s exactly what socially skilled people do—they pay attention and self-reflect.
They notice when someone stiffens up or avoids eye contact, and they adjust their behavior accordingly. But men with poor social awareness bulldoze through these moments, leaving a trail of awkwardness behind them.
4) They laugh at their own jokes (when no one else does)
There’s nothing wrong with finding yourself funny. But when a guy is the only one laughing at his own jokes—loudly, enthusiastically, and completely unaware of the silence around him—it’s a sign he’s missing something socially.
I remember sitting in a group conversation where one guy kept cracking jokes that just… weren’t funny.
Every time, he’d laugh loudly, looking around as if waiting for the rest of us to join in. But no one did. Instead, there were awkward chuckles, forced smiles, and a quick change of subject. He never seemed to notice.
Psychologist Alfred Adler once said: “It is always easier to fight for one’s principles than to live up to them.”
Socially skilled people don’t just assume they’re funny—they read the room. They pick up on whether others are actually enjoying the humor or just tolerating it.
Men with below-average social skills mistake their own amusement for everyone else’s, turning conversations into uncomfortable performances rather than enjoyable exchanges.
5) They agree too much in conversations
You’d think being agreeable would make someone more likable. But when a guy agrees with everything—never offering his own opinion, never pushing back even slightly—it actually makes conversations less engaging.
I once worked with a guy who agreed with everything I said.
At first, I thought he was just being polite. But over time, it became clear—he wasn’t adding anything to the conversation. He was just nodding along, afraid to say the wrong thing. Talking to him felt like talking to an echo, not a real person.
Carl Jung once said: “The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.”
Good social skills aren’t about pleasing everyone—they’re about being authentic. People enjoy conversations with those who have their own thoughts and perspectives, even if they don’t always align.
But men with poor social skills often fear disagreement, thinking it will push people away, when in reality, it’s what makes connections more interesting and real.
6) They over-explain simple things
Have you ever asked a guy a simple question and ended up stuck in a long-winded explanation you didn’t need?
Instead of giving a quick, clear answer, he goes into unnecessary detail, as if he’s teaching a class instead of just having a conversation.
I once asked a friend how to use a new coffee machine. Instead of a quick “Just press this button,” I got a five-minute breakdown of water temperature, bean grind size, and the history of espresso machines.
By the time he finished, I regretted asking.
Leonardo da Vinci once said: “Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.” And while he wasn’t a psychologist, his words align with what communication experts have found—clear, concise messaging makes for better social interactions.
Socially skilled people get to the point.
They sense when someone just wants an answer versus when they’re actually interested in details. But men with below-average social skills miss these cues, turning every conversation into an unnecessary lecture.
7) They don’t know when a conversation is over
Some guys just don’t realize when it’s time to wrap things up. The conversation has naturally ended, people are giving clear exit signals—short responses, looking at their phones, shifting their body away—but they keep going, as if the interaction still has life in it.
I had a coworker like this.
Every time we’d chat in the break room, I’d signal that I needed to get back to work—closing my water bottle, stepping toward the door—but he’d just keep talking. I’d have to literally interrupt and say, “Alright, I’ve got to run,” just to escape.
It wasn’t that he was rude—he just didn’t see the social cues.
William James, one of the founders of modern psychology, once said: “The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook.”
Socially skilled people understand that not every silence needs to be filled and that knowing when to stop talking is just as important as knowing what to say.
But men with below-average social skills miss these unspoken signals and unintentionally drain people’s energy by dragging conversations past their natural ending point.
8) They make everything about themselves
There’s nothing worse than talking to someone who hijacks every conversation and turns it into a story about themselves.
You share something personal or exciting, and instead of asking questions or staying on your topic for a moment, they immediately shift the focus back to their own experiences.
I once told a guy about a trip I was planning, and before I could even finish my sentence, he jumped in: “Oh yeah, I went there last year! Let me tell you all about my trip.”
Suddenly, I wasn’t talking anymore—I was just listening to his long-winded travel stories. He never asked me another thing about my plans.
Carl Rogers once said: “The major barrier to mutual interpersonal communication is our very natural tendency to judge, to evaluate, to approve or disapprove.”
Socially skilled people understand that conversations are a two-way street.
They listen, they ask follow-up questions, and they let the other person have their moment. But men with poor social skills don’t even realize they’re doing it—they think they’re just “relating” when in reality, they’re making every interaction about them.
9) They’re too formal in casual conversations
You’d think that being polite and proper would be a good thing in social situations. And in some cases, it is.
But when a guy speaks too formally in casual conversations—using stiff language, avoiding contractions, or acting overly serious—it creates distance instead of connection.
I once had a friend who spoke like he was writing an email. Instead of saying, “Hey, what’s up?” he’d say, “Hello, how are you doing on this fine afternoon?”
It wasn’t rude—it just felt unnatural, like he was stuck in professional mode even during relaxed hangouts. It made conversations feel more like a job interview than a friendly chat.
Albert Mehrabian, a psychologist known for his research on communication, found that “only 7% of communication is based on the actual words we say; the rest is tone of voice and body language.”
Socially skilled people know how to match the vibe of a conversation. They adjust their speech to fit the situation—formal when necessary, relaxed when appropriate.
But men with below-average social skills often miss this adjustment, making interactions feel stiff, awkward, or overly rehearsed.
10) They struggle with small talk
A lot of guys think small talk is pointless. They either avoid it completely or try to rush through it to get to a “real” conversation. But the truth is, small talk is what builds connections—it’s the social glue that makes deeper conversations possible.
I used to know a guy who just didn’t get it.
If you asked him something simple like, “How’s your day going?” he’d either give a one-word answer or launch into something way too deep for the moment. There was no in-between. Talking to him always felt a little…off, like he was missing a basic step in human interaction.
Psychologist Daniel Goleman, known for his work on emotional intelligence, once said: “Rapport is the lubricant of social life.”
Socially skilled people understand that small talk isn’t meaningless—it’s a warm-up, a way to ease into conversations naturally. But men with poor social skills either dismiss it as unnecessary or struggle to navigate it, making interactions feel awkward and disconnected.
