Navigating human relationships can be quite a rollercoaster. It’s not always easy to know who’s emotionally safe to be around and who’s not.
Psychology offers some pretty insightful clues on this. It gives us tangible ways we can identify those people who provide emotional safety – the ones who respect boundaries, listen attentively, and handle disagreements with grace.
Here’s a sneak peek at some of the ways you can tell someone is emotionally safe to be around. And remember, these aren’t just tips; these are steeped in psychological wisdom.
So buckle up; let’s dive into this together.
1) They respect boundaries
Respecting boundaries is a clear sign that someone is emotionally safe to be around.
In the world of psychology, boundaries are seen as an essential part of maintaining healthy relationships. They define what’s acceptable behavior and what’s not, helping to prevent feelings of resentment or being taken advantage of.
Emotionally safe people understand this concept well. They not only respect your boundaries, but they also have clear boundaries of their own.
They won’t push you to share more than you’re comfortable with, nor will they overshare or unload their emotional baggage on you.
As Brene Brown says, “Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.”
So if you find someone who respects your personal space, values your time, and doesn’t push you beyond your comfort zone, that’s a good sign they’re emotionally safe to be around.
But remember, this goes both ways; respecting their boundaries is equally important.
2) They’re consistent in their actions
Another key indicator of someone who’s emotionally safe to be around is consistency in their actions.
Let me share a personal experience. I once had a friend, let’s call him John. John was charming, fun-loving, and always the life of the party.
However, his behavior was wildly inconsistent. One day he’d be attentive and caring, the next he’d be distant and dismissive. This inconsistency eventually led to a lot of confusion and emotional distress.
Contrast this with another friend, Sarah. She wasn’t as outgoing or charming as John, but she was consistently kind, respectful, and reliable. With Sarah, I knew where I stood. That level of consistency made me feel safe and secure in our friendship.
As famed psychologist Carl Rogers once said, “The only person who is educated is the one who has learned how to learn and change.”
People who are consistent in their actions show that they’ve learned how to navigate their emotions and adapt to situations while maintaining their core values.
Consistency breeds trust, and trust leads to emotional safety. So, look out for people like Sarah in your life.
3) They aren’t afraid to show vulnerability
Have you ever been around someone who seems to have it all together, all the time? It can feel intimidating, right?
While it’s natural to want to put our best foot forward, nobody is perfect. We all have our struggles and insecurities. Someone who’s emotionally safe to be around is not afraid to show their vulnerability. They’re willing to share their fears, flaws, and failures, which in turn makes it easier for you to do the same.
This doesn’t mean they’re constantly unloading their problems on you, but rather they’re comfortable showing that they’re human, just like you.
As renowned psychologist Brené Brown says, “Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome.”
People who are comfortable with vulnerability are often emotionally safe because they create an environment where it’s okay to be imperfect.
You don’t have to hide your true self or put on a mask. That’s not just liberating; it’s emotionally safe.
4) They practice active listening
Active listening is a powerful indication of someone who’s emotionally safe to be around.
A study conducted by the Psychological Science journal found that active listening, where the listener repeats back what they’ve heard to confirm understanding, fosters emotional connection and makes the speaker feel valued and understood.
Emotionally safe people are not just waiting for their turn to speak. They’re genuinely interested in understanding your perspective. They’ll ask follow-up questions, reflect back what you’ve said, and offer empathy and validation.
When someone practices active listening, it shows that they value your thoughts and feelings. It makes you feel seen and heard.
In a world where everyone is in a hurry, this trait is indeed a breath of fresh air and a clear sign of emotional safety.
5) They handle disagreements with grace
Disagreements are inevitable in any relationship. But it’s how someone handles those disagreements that can tell you a lot about their emotional safety.
I remember a situation where a close friend of mine disagreed with my choice of career. Instead of belittling me or trying to impose her views, she expressed her concerns in a respectful and understanding manner. We had a healthy discussion about it, and it didn’t affect our friendship negatively.
Renowned psychologist Daniel Goleman once said, “In a very real sense, we have two minds, one that thinks and one that feels.” This is especially true when disagreements arise.
Emotionally safe people are able to separate their feelings from their thoughts and communicate their disagreements without resorting to personal attacks or manipulation.
A person who can disagree with you without disrespecting you is someone who’s emotionally safe to be around. They validate your feelings even when they don’t share your views.
6) They aren’t afraid of saying “no”
This might seem counterintuitive, but emotionally safe people aren’t afraid to say “no”.
It’s easy to think that someone who always agrees with you, who always says “yes”, is safe. But in reality, someone who can comfortably say “no” when they need to is showing a healthy sense of self-awareness and respect for their own boundaries.
An emotionally safe person understands this. They know their limits and are not afraid to communicate them. This honesty and transparency can foster a deeper sense of trust and respect in your relationship.
So remember, someone saying “no” isn’t necessarily a rejection of you, but an acceptance of themselves. And that’s a good thing!
7) They express gratitude
Gratitude is more than just good manners. It’s a sign of emotional safety.
Emotionally safe people express gratitude not just for what you do, but for who you are. They appreciate your qualities and express it openly.
As psychologist Robert Emmons says, “Gratitude is a way for people to appreciate what they have instead of always reaching for something new in the hopes it will make them happier.”
If someone appreciates your presence and expresses gratitude sincerely, chances are, they’re emotionally safe to be around.
Final reflections
Human relationships, with all their complexities and nuances, are an integral part of our lives. They can bring us joy, comfort, and a sense of belonging. But they can also bring stress, confusion, and emotional turmoil.
Identifying the people who are emotionally safe to be around can help us navigate this complex web of human connections.
It’s about recognizing those who respect our boundaries, show consistency in their actions, aren’t afraid to be vulnerable, practice active listening, handle disagreements with grace, aren’t afraid to say “no”, and express genuine gratitude.
Remember, these aren’t just theoretical concepts but practical signposts guiding us towards healthier, more emotionally secure relationships.
As we journey through this terrain of human connection, let’s strive to not only seek out emotionally safe people but also become one ourselves.
After all, the quality of our relationships is often a reflection of our own emotional health and safety.
