If someone compliments you, it feels good; if someone criticizes you, it stings.
That’s just human nature!
But for some people, validation from others isn’t just a nice bonus—it’s everything.
Without approval, they feel uneasy, uncertain, even lost.
And the tricky part? They often don’t even realize how much they depend on it.
The need for external validation can show up in subtle ways—small habits, patterns, and behaviors that seem harmless on the surface but actually reveal a deeper craving for acceptance.
Here are eight approval-seeking behaviors people frequently display without even realizing it.
Do any of them sound familiar?
1) They constantly seek reassurance
No one likes feeling uncertain but, for people who rely heavily on external validation, uncertainty is unbearable.
These people need constant reassurance—whether it’s about their decisions, their worth, or how others feel about them.
They might ask questions like, “Are you sure this looks okay?” or “Do you think I did a good job?” more often than they realize.
When they don’t get the validation they’re looking for, doubt creeps in fast.
It’s not that they don’t trust themselves—it’s that outside approval feels more real than their own judgment.
2) They over-apologize, even when they’ve done nothing wrong
I used to say “sorry” for everything.
If someone bumped into me, I’d apologize; if I asked a simple question, I’d start with, “Sorry to bother you, but…”
Even when nothing was my fault, I felt this automatic need to smooth things over—as if taking up space or making a request was something to apologize for.
Looking back, I realize it wasn’t just politeness.
It was my way of seeking approval, of making sure no one was upset with me.
I wanted to be seen as agreeable, easygoing—someone who never caused problems.
However, constantly apologizing doesn’t just make you seem overly cautious—it can also make you doubt your own right to be heard.
3) They change their opinions to match those around them
It’s natural to want to fit in.
But some people take it a step further, adjusting their opinions, preferences, and even personalities depending on who they’re with.
They nod along in agreement—even when they don’t fully believe what’s being said—they laugh at jokes they don’t find funny, and they hesitate to express a different point of view, worried it might push people away.
In fact, the fear of social rejection is so deeply wired into the brain that it activates the same regions as physical pain.
For those who rely on external validation, disagreeing with others doesn’t just feel uncomfortable—it feels like a genuine threat.
4) They feel uneasy when they don’t get a response
A delayed text, an unanswered message, a conversation that suddenly goes quiet—for most people, these things are just a normal part of life.
But for those who depend on external validation, silence feels personal.
They start overanalyzing: “Did I say something wrong, are they mad at me, or did I do something to upset them?”
Their mood can shift based on whether or not someone responds to them, and the longer the silence lasts, the more anxious they become.
It’s not just about the reply—it’s about what that reply (or lack of one) says about how they’re perceived.
5) They go out of their way to please everyone
I used to say “yes” to everything.
Even when I was exhausted, overwhelmed, or completely uninterested, I still felt this automatic pull to agree—I didn’t want to disappoint anyone.
Likewise, I didn’t want people to think I was difficult or unhelpful—so, I stretched myself thin trying to be everything for everyone!
People who rely on external validation often become chronic people-pleasers.
They’ll rearrange their schedules, take on extra responsibilities, and put others’ needs ahead of their own—sometimes at the cost of their own well-being.
The problem? When you spend so much time trying to make everyone else happy, you lose touch with what you actually want.
6) They struggle to accept compliments
You’d think that people who crave validation would love receiving compliments—but that’s not always the case.
Instead of simply saying “thank you” and accepting praise, they downplay it, deflect it, or brush it off entirely.
If someone says, “You did an amazing job,” they might respond with, “Oh, it was nothing” or “I could’ve done better.”
Why? Because deep down, they’re so used to chasing approval that actually receiving it feels unfamiliar—almost uncomfortable.
And if they don’t fully believe in themselves, compliments can feel undeserved, no matter how genuine they are.
7) They mirror other people’s behaviors
Have you ever noticed yourself picking up someone else’s mannerisms, speech patterns, or even interests without meaning to?
For people who seek external validation, this happens all the time.
They subconsciously adjust their tone, body language, and even personality to match whoever they’re around.
It’s not manipulation—it’s instinct—as mirroring makes social interactions smoother and helps them feel more accepted.
But when taken too far, it can leave them wondering: “Who am I when no one else is around?”
8) They base their self-worth on others’ opinions
At the core of it all, external validation isn’t just about approval—it’s about identity.
People who rely on it often struggle to separate their own worth from how others see them.
If they’re praised, they feel valuable; if they’re criticized or ignored, their self-esteem crumbles.
Their confidence isn’t built from within—it’s constantly at the mercy of outside opinions.
And the hardest part? As long as their self-worth depends on others, it will always feel fragile, no matter how much validation they receive.
Breaking free from the need for approval
Wanting to be liked is human but, when your self-worth depends on others, it can feel like you’re constantly chasing something just out of reach.
True confidence doesn’t come from endless reassurance—it comes from trusting yourself, even when no one is there to validate you.
Moreover, it comes from knowing that your value isn’t tied to how many people approve of you, but to who you are at your core.
At the end of the day, external validation will always be fleeting.
But self-acceptance? That’s something no one can take away from you!
