First impressions can be tricky, yet incredibly telling.
“Good” is subjective, but psychologists agree there are certain signs that might reveal someone’s true character within minutes of meeting them.
This isn’t about judging people or making snap decisions, but rather picking up on subtle cues that give us insight into who they really are.
It’s not foolproof, but it could give you a head start in understanding what lies beneath the surface.
1) They engage in active listening
Engagement is key in any social situation, but those who are genuinely good people tend to exhibit a particular trait – active listening.
Active listening isn’t just about being silent while the other person talks. It’s about showing interest, asking relevant questions, and demonstrating understanding.
Why is this significant?
Well, as Carl Rogers, a notable psychologist once said, “When someone really hears you without passing judgment on you, without trying to take responsibility for you, without trying to mold you, it feels damn good…”.
In other words, active listeners make others feel valued and heard. This is a hallmark of someone who is empathetic and kind – qualities often associated with being a ‘good person’.
If within the first couple of minutes of meeting someone they’re giving you their full attention and sincerely engaging with what you’re saying, chances are, they’re a pretty good egg.
But don’t take my word for it. Try it out for yourself next time you meet someone new.
2) They show genuine curiosity
You know, I recall meeting my best friend for the first time. Within minutes, she was asking me about my interests, my work, even the book I was carrying.
Her genuine curiosity about me was both refreshing and revealing.
Curiosity is an indicator of a good person because it shows a willingness to understand and connect on a deeper level.
As psychologist and Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl once said, “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom”.
This quote resonates with me because it highlights the value of choosing to be curious about others as a pathway to personal growth and connection.
Next time you meet someone new, pay attention to how curious they are about you. Do they ask thoughtful questions? Do they seem genuinely interested in your answers?
These are signs that you may be talking to a genuinely good person.
3) They exhibit empathy
Have you ever had a conversation where you felt the other person just “got” you? It’s a little bit magical, isn’t it?
Empathy is a key trait of a good person. It’s the ability to not just understand, but also share the feelings of another.
Famed psychologist Carl Jung once said, “Empathy is an understanding of the human soul.”
And he was right. It’s about going beyond surface-level interactions and truly connecting with another individual on a deeper level.
An empathetic person will make you feel seen, heard and understood within minutes of meeting them.
They’ll share in your joys, validate your concerns, and might even tear up when you share a sad story.
Next time you meet someone new, pay attention to how they respond when you share something personal.
If they can step into your shoes and feel what you’re feeling, you might just be in the presence of a genuinely good person.
4) They are kind to those they don’t need anything from
Ever noticed how some people treat waitstaff, janitors, or other service personnel? It’s a simple, yet powerful indicator of someone’s character.
Acts of kindness, particularly those directed towards individuals who can’t reciprocate, are a reliable indicator of a person’s character.
People who are kind to those they didn’t need anything from are more likely to be seen as genuinely good people.
They weren’t being kind for personal gain or advancement, but simply because it was the right thing to do.
When you meet someone new, take note of how they treat everyone around them, not just those who can benefit them.
It might reveal more about their character than any conversation ever could.
5) They maintain eye contact
I’ve always believed that the eyes are the windows to the soul, and psychology seems to agree.
Maintaining eye contact is a powerful way to show someone that you’re present, engaged, and interested in what they have to say.
It’s a non-verbal cue that communicates respect and attentiveness.
Famed psychologist Abraham Maslow once said, “The ability to be in the present moment is a major component of mental wellness.”
By maintaining eye contact, good people show that they are in the present moment with you, which is a strong indicator of their mental wellness and maturity.
The next time you meet someone new, take note of their eye contact.
If they’re willing to maintain it throughout your conversation, you might just be talking to a genuinely good person.
6) They’re not afraid to show vulnerability
Now, this might seem counterintuitive. After all, aren’t good people strong and self-sufficient? Well, yes, but they’re also human.
Good people understand that showing vulnerability isn’t a sign of weakness, but rather a display of strength and authenticity.
It’s about being real and not hiding behind a facade.
Psychologist Brené Brown shares that “Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome.”
If within the first few minutes of meeting someone, they share something personal or display an authentic emotion, don’t be quick to see this as oversharing or emotional instability.
It could just be a sign that you’re dealing with a genuinely good person.
7) They radiate positivity
Positivity is infectious, and good people know that.
Good people have a knack for seeing the bright side of things and spreading that positivity to those around them.
As Harvey Mackay once said, “Positive thinking is more than just a tagline. It changes the way we behave.”
If you meet someone who lights up the room with their positivity, they might just be a genuinely good person.
Final thoughts
Deciphering the goodness in someone in just a couple of minutes is no easy task.
Yet, the small cues we’ve explored, from active listening to displays of vulnerability, can offer us invaluable insights.
These are not foolproof methods or quick judgement mechanisms. Instead, they are tools to help us understand people a little bit better, a little bit faster.
In the end, it’s about fostering deeper connections and cultivating a greater understanding of those we meet.
As you navigate through life’s myriad encounters, keep these cues in mind.
And perhaps, you’ll find that the world is filled with more good people than you initially thought.
