As we get older, most of us start thinking about the kind of person we want to be remembered as. Being considered a “good person” isn’t about perfection—it’s about growth and self-awareness.
And let’s be honest, some behaviors we’ve held onto for years might be holding us back.
The truth is, becoming a better version of yourself often means letting go of certain habits or attitudes that don’t serve you—or others—anymore. It’s not always easy to recognize these behaviors in ourselves, but once we do, saying goodbye to them can make all the difference.
If you want to be someone people respect, trust, and genuinely enjoy being around, it’s time to take a closer look at how you show up in the world. Here are 8 behaviors you’ll want to leave behind as you grow into your best self.
1) Holding grudges
Most people don’t set out to hold grudges—it just kind of happens. Someone wrongs you, you feel hurt, and suddenly that resentment takes up permanent residence in your mind.
But here’s the thing: holding onto grudges doesn’t punish the person who hurt you—it punishes you.
Carrying old resentment into your later years can make you bitter, closed off, and harder to connect with. Nobody is saying forgiveness is easy, but letting go of past hurts can be one of the most freeing things you’ll ever do.
When you stop holding grudges, you make space for healthier relationships and a lighter emotional load. People are more likely to see you as someone who’s kind, understanding, and open-hearted—the kind of person we all want to be around.
2) Dismissing other people’s perspectives
I used to think I was pretty open-minded—until a friend called me out for always shutting down ideas I didn’t agree with. At first, I was defensive (because, of course, I thought I was right).
But then I started noticing how often I’d interrupt or dismiss people mid-conversation, acting like their perspective didn’t matter as much as mine.
It wasn’t intentional, but it made me come across as closed-off and even condescending. Looking back, I realize how many opportunities I missed to learn something new or deepen my relationships.
The older I get, the more I’ve learned to pause and really listen. Even when I don’t agree, validating someone else’s point of view shows respect—and it helps people feel heard.
Being considered a good person isn’t about always being right; it’s about being willing to understand where others are coming from. And trust me, that shift makes all the difference.
3) Talking more than you listen
Did you know that most people spend about 60% of their conversations talking about themselves?
It’s human nature—we’re wired to share our thoughts, experiences, and opinions. But if you’re always the one dominating the conversation, it can come across as self-centered, even if that’s not your intention.
When you prioritize speaking over listening, you miss out on truly connecting with others. Listening isn’t just polite; it shows you care about what someone else has to say.
Over time, people notice when you’re the kind of person who gives them space to express themselves, and they’ll value you all the more for it.
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If you want to be considered a good person as you age, practice holding back and giving others the floor. It’s a small shift that builds trust and makes your relationships stronger.
4) Avoiding accountability
Blaming circumstances, other people, or even bad luck might feel like the easy way out when things go wrong. But over time, dodging accountability damages how others see you—and how you see yourself.
Taking responsibility for your actions, whether it’s a mistake at work or a misunderstanding with a friend, is a mark of maturity and integrity. People respect those who can own up to their flaws and make things right.
The truth is, no one expects you to be perfect. What they do expect is honesty and the willingness to learn from your missteps. When you stop avoiding accountability, you show people that you’re trustworthy—and that’s one of the most valuable traits of all.
5) Letting pride get in the way of apologizing
There was a time when I convinced myself that saying “I’m sorry” made me look weak. I’d justify my actions, find ways to shift blame, or just avoid the conversation altogether.
Deep down, though, I always knew when I owed someone an apology—and not giving it left a weight between us that didn’t go away.
Refusing to apologize doesn’t protect you; it isolates you. It creates distance in relationships and leaves wounds that could have easily been healed with a simple acknowledgment of your mistake.
The older I get, the more I’ve realized that apologizing isn’t about losing—it’s about repairing. A heartfelt apology shows humility, care, and respect for the other person. And more often than not, it strengthens the bond far more than pretending nothing ever happened.
6) Being quick to judge others
It’s easy to fall into the habit of judging people based on their choices, appearance, or even how they handle situations differently than you would.
But here’s the thing: everyone is carrying something you can’t see. A struggle, a story, or circumstances you might never fully understand.
When you’re quick to judge, you close the door to empathy and connection. It creates a barrier that keeps you from seeing the full picture of who someone truly is. None of us would want to be reduced to a snap judgment based on a single moment or mistake.
If you want to be someone people respect and feel safe around, practice giving others the benefit of the doubt. Choosing understanding over judgment doesn’t just make you kinder—it makes you wiser, too.
7) Taking people for granted
The relationships you have—friends, family, colleagues—aren’t guaranteed to always be there. People don’t stick around forever when they feel unappreciated, unnoticed, or undervalued.
It’s easy to assume the people who matter most will understand your silence or overlook your lack of effort, but over time, that assumption erodes trust and connection.
If you want to be considered a good person as you get older, cherish the people who choose to be part of your life. Show up for them. Say thank you. Tell them what they mean to you before it’s too late.
Who you are is a choice
As we grow older, our actions and habits etch themselves into the memories of those around us. The way we treat people—whether with kindness, humility, or indifference—becomes the legacy we leave behind.
Psychologists often emphasize that personality isn’t fixed; it evolves through conscious effort and self-awareness. This means that who you are today doesn’t have to define who you’ll be tomorrow.
Every decision you make, every behavior you choose to embrace or let go of, shapes the kind of person others will remember.
Ultimately, being considered a “good person” isn’t about striving for perfection—it’s about consistently choosing to show up as someone who makes life better for others. The beauty of it? That choice is always yours to make.