You can tell a lot about a person by the way they talk. Some people make conversation feel effortless, while others… well, not so much.
It’s not always obvious at first, but certain topics can be a dead giveaway that someone struggles with people skills. They might think they’re just making conversation, but instead, they’re pushing people away without realizing it.
The truth is, good communication isn’t just about what you say—it’s about knowing how and when to say it. And if someone keeps bringing up these 8 topics, chances are, they’re missing that key social awareness.
1) They make everything about themselves
We’ve all been there—talking to someone who somehow manages to turn every conversation back to themselves.
You mention a problem you’re dealing with? They’ve had it worse. You share an exciting achievement? They’ve done something even bigger.
Of course, sharing personal experiences isn’t a bad thing. But when someone constantly shifts the focus onto themselves, it shows a lack of awareness and interest in others.
Instead of making a conversation feel balanced, they make it feel like a competition.
People with strong social skills know that good conversation is a two-way street. But if someone can’t resist making everything about themselves, they’re probably not as socially skilled as they think.
2) They bring up controversial opinions just to stir the pot
I once had a coworker who loved to drop the most controversial takes in the middle of casual conversations.
It didn’t matter if we were talking about weekend plans or our favorite movies—somehow, he’d find a way to turn it into a heated debate.
At first, I thought he just had strong opinions. But over time, I realized he wasn’t really interested in discussing ideas—he just enjoyed watching people argue.
Bringing up sensitive or divisive topics isn’t always a bad thing, but doing it just for the sake of drama? That’s a clear sign of poor people skills.
A good communicator knows when to engage in deep discussions and when to just let people enjoy their coffee in peace.
3) They overshare way too soon
There’s a natural rhythm to how relationships develop—people open up gradually as trust builds. But some people skip that process entirely and dive straight into deeply personal details before you even know their last name.
Studies show that while self-disclosure can strengthen connections, oversharing too early can have the opposite effect, making people feel uncomfortable or even overwhelmed.
Instead of fostering closeness, it creates awkwardness and pushes others away.
Socially skilled people understand boundaries and know when to share and when to hold back.
But if someone launches into their entire life story within minutes of meeting you, they might not realize just how uneasy it makes others feel.
4) They constantly complain about everything
Everyone vents now and then—it’s normal to talk about frustrations.
But some people seem to have nothing but complaints. The weather is terrible, their job is the worst, the food is never good enough… and on and on it goes.
Negativity like this doesn’t just bring down the mood; it also makes conversations feel draining.
People naturally gravitate toward those who bring energy and positivity, not those who make every interaction feel like a list of grievances.
Good social skills include knowing when to vent and when to let things go. But if someone complains non-stop, they might not realize how exhausting they are to be around.
5) They give unsolicited advice
I can’t count how many times I’ve casually mentioned a problem, only to have someone immediately jump in with advice I never asked for.
Sometimes, people just want to vent or share their thoughts without being told what they should do. But there are those who can’t resist playing the expert, offering solutions even when no one asked for them.
The problem is, this kind of advice often comes across as condescending rather than helpful.
A good listener knows when to offer guidance and when to simply say, “That sounds really tough.” But if someone is always ready to give advice—even on things they know nothing about—they’re probably not as socially skilled as they think.
6) They only talk about “safe” small talk topics
You’d think avoiding controversial or deep topics would make someone a great conversationalist, but that’s not always the case.
Some people stick so strictly to small talk—weather, traffic, the latest generic news headline—that conversations with them feel lifeless.
Of course, small talk has its place. It helps break the ice and ease into deeper discussions. But if someone never moves past surface-level topics, it can make them seem disinterested or even robotic.
People with strong social skills know how to read the room and transition from small talk into more meaningful discussions. But if someone never strays from the safest, most predictable topics, they’re missing out on real connection.
7) They humblebrag all the time
There’s confidence, and then there’s the art of making a brag sound like a complaint.
You’ve probably heard it before—someone sighs about how “exhausting” their latest vacation to Europe was, or how “annoying” it is that people keep complimenting their work. It’s bragging in disguise, and honestly, it’s even more irritating than just straight-up boasting.
People with strong social skills know that authenticity is more likable than forced modesty.
But if someone constantly humblebrags, they might not realize how transparent—and off-putting—it really is.
8) They don’t notice when people aren’t interested
The biggest sign of poor people skills isn’t any specific topic—it’s the inability to read the room.
Someone can go on and on about their pets, their job, or their latest obsession without realizing the other person has checked out completely. They miss the polite nods, the forced smiles, the quick glances at the door.
Good communication isn’t just about talking—it’s about knowing when to stop.
But if someone keeps pushing a conversation long after interest has faded, they’re not just bad at reading people; they’re making every interaction feel like a chore.
Why good conversation is about more than just talking
Hopefully, if you’ve read this far, you’ve realized that social skills aren’t just about what you say—they’re about how well you understand the people around you.
Because being a great conversationalist isn’t about having the most interesting stories or the strongest opinions. It’s about knowing when to speak, when to listen, and when to let a moment breathe.
If someone has that awareness, they don’t just have good people skills—they make others feel heard, understood, and comfortable. And at the end of the day, that’s what really makes someone great to talk to.
