It’s hard to imagine a bigger waste of five minutes than Wormholes.
The App Store is great because it’s a place where folks of all sorts can put their work out there for us to try, and so often that work is something to be remembered. There’s a lot of good in the App Store, but that’s sometimes hard to remember when you encounter something as wholly stupid as Wormholes.
Wormholes is one of many iOS clones of console or PC titles. The game it’s cloning is none other than Portal, a classic puzzle game from Valve that blew everyone’s minds back in 2007 and blew them all again back in April of this year.
But Wormholes’ creator, Jeremy Slavitz, wasn’t content to steal the Portal idea — you get a gun that shoots two portals onto walls, and then you can walk through one portal and come out the other — no, Slavitz went ahead and just made a copy of the first few puzzles in Portal. Exactly those puzzles.
That’s right, this is the first five minutes of Portal, except with very unattractive and glitchy graphics, controls that aren’t nearly as responsive as they need to be in a first-person game like this and none of Portal’s brilliant humor. It’s nearly worthless in every respect.
And did I mention that there’s only five minutes worth of content here? I did, but it bears repeating that this game will last about as long as it takes to smoke a cigarette. And then you’re done forever, because you certainly aren’t going to ever pick it up again. I’m not normally one to complain about length in a $0.99 product, but this isn’t even a fun five minutes!
Download the free Appolicious iPhone app
