It’s reasonable to want to look and feel your best, especially in a romantic relationship. We all have our preferences and standards. However, when those preferences cross over into demands and ultimatums — things start to get murky.
A 35-year-old woman on Reddit shared a disturbing account of her boyfriend’s expectations of her physical appearance, just one week after moving into his house. In her post, she reveals how her boyfriend told her to “keep up with her body” because he considers himself a “high value man”.
Boyfriend’s disturbing demands on woman’s physical appearance
The Reddit post, shared by user TigerIntelligent7027, starts with a seemingly simple query — is she overreacting to her boyfriend’s demands of her physical appearance? As she delves deeper into her story, a more sinister picture begins to emerge.
According to the woman, her boyfriend has been dictating her dress sense, hairstyle choices, and even her social interactions. He has also been pushing for her to cut off contacts with her friends, and has gone as far as telling her to stop eating dinner. The woman explains that he justifies his demands by citing that he is a “high value man”.
Interestingly, the woman notes that there have been no changes in her physique since they started dating six months ago. In fact, she describes herself as athletic and only 15 lbs over her normal BMI. Yet, her boyfriend’s demeaning comments have left her confused and questioning.
One comment from a Reddit user throwaway19293883 stood out: “Your mom is right. Sucks when people don’t reveal themselves like that until after you move in.” It seems that the consensus among the online community was in line with this sentiment.
The woman concludes by saying that she has started looking for apartments and plans on leaving him in secret. She acknowledges that she was lured into moving into his apartment under false pretenses of care and financial stability but now sees it as a trap.
Unmasking the hidden dangers of control in relationships
The Reddit post has shone a light on an important issue often hidden in the shadows – controlling behaviours in intimate relationships. The woman’s experience of her boyfriend’s oppressive demands is a textbook example of how control can manifest in subtle and insidious ways.
One thing that stands out in this narrative is the concept of a “high value man”. This self-proclaimed status seems to be used as a justification for imposing demands and expectations on his partner. This sense of entitlement often leads to power dynamics that are skewed and unhealthy in relationships.
The boyfriend’s attempt to isolate the woman from her friends is another troubling detail. It’s a well-known tactic employed by controlling partners to create a sense of dependence and limit outside influence.
But perhaps the most concerning part is how these behaviours were hidden until the woman moved into his apartment. As one Reddit user pointed out, it’s unfortunate when people don’t reveal their true nature until after you move in with them.
While it’s distressing to read about such experiences, it’s heartening to see the support and advice given by the Reddit community. From comments suggesting she leaves while he’s at work, to those warning about potential ‘baby-trapping’, it’s clear that there’s a shared understanding of the gravity of her situation.
The importance of recognizing unhealthy patterns
Stories like these serve as powerful reminders of how crucial it is to recognize unhealthy patterns in relationships. The woman in this Reddit thread found herself in a situation where her partner felt entitled to dictate her life under the guise of being a “high value man”. It’s a chilling example of how easily control can creep into a relationship, often disguised as concern or love.
It’s important to note that respect and equality are the cornerstones of any healthy relationship. Partners should uplift each other, not impose unrealistic standards or seek to control. The term ‘high value’ shouldn’t just be about financial status, but should encompass values like empathy, understanding and respect.
As we reflect on this Reddit thread, we should ask ourselves: How do we ensure we don’t end up in similar situations? What signs should we look out for? How do we empower ourselves and others to leave such toxic relationships?
While there are no easy answers, awareness is the first step. Recognizing and discussing these issues openly can help us create healthy boundaries in our relationships and stand up against controlling behaviours.
