Although Tiger Woods is now an admitted cheater, he shouldn’t have to jailbreak his phone to download these iPhone apps and get his life and marriage back into recovery mode.
1. Apology, by Plato
While Tiger’s tale is far from a Greek tragedy, in America the quickest path to regaining public favor is by going on TV and saying your sorry. Mission accomplished. Of course, it’s debatable whether Tiger owes an apology to anyone beyond his wife, family a coterie of business associates who’s livelihood depends on Tiger keeping his swinging confined to a golf course. To best contemplate these and other philosophical questions, Tiger should invest $1.99 in this iPhone app that transcribes a famous speech by Socrates. No matter how bad things get for Tiger, at least he won’t be required to drink any Hemlock.
2. iTrust
Popular speculation has it that Tiger’s wife Elin first caught wind of her husband’s affairs after taking hold of his cell phone and reading through incriminating text messages. Next time he plans on having his phone just laying around, he should download iTrust. The 99-cent application logs activity on your iPhone while you’re away to see if anyone else is using it.
3. Phil Mickelson, Secrets of the Short Game
Even though he lives on a golf course, chances are Tiger’s skills have become a bit rusty over the last three months. Changes are, Tiger will spend a few more months in rehab and rejoin the tour later this year. While driving has never been a problem, for just under five bucks Tiger can piggy-back on some short game skills from the guy he will eventually take to school.
4. myLearning Mobile
An official app for Accenture and the consulting company’s educational platform, myLearningMobile should actually be targeted to the firm’s marketing executives when choosing their next spokesperson. Not only was the company’s image tarnished last year after the scandal blew up, but Tiger’s return to the public sphere coincides with this weekend’s Accenture World Match Play Championship.
5. Pocket First Aid & CPR from the American Heart Association
Regardless of how Tiger incurred those facial injuries last November, we all know how he likes to live dangerously. Whether he is removing a nine iron from his forehead or playing through a major tournament with a torn ACL, it’s a good idea for Tiger to invest $3.99 in this virtual First Aid kit.
6. Buddha Box – meditation with timer
Of course it is the personal, internal demons that have caused the most pain for Tiger as of late. Assuming Erin extends him a mulligan and a chance to repair their marriage, Tiger may want to spend $2.99 on this meditation app. The internal clock will help him to never miss a tee time.
7. Gucci
While Erin should expect at least a Vanessa Bryant-sized rock for her troubles, Tiger may want to download a few apps from luxury retailers like this free offering from Gucci.
8. Oprah Winfrey
Tiger’s return to humanity no doubt is only the first part of his public relations re-imaging campaign. Isn’t an appearance on Oprah inevitable? To prepare, Tiger should download this 99-cent unofficial app which aggregates news and blogs from the most trusted woman in America.
9. H.G. Wells’ The Time Machine
A generation ago before blogs, Twitter, and the ubiquity of cable news networks, Tiger probably would have gotten away with some adulterous behavior. At least his affairs wouldn’t be 24/7 news for every professional and amateur commentator with nothing else really interesting to say. Whenever Tiger wants to hearken back to more innocent times, he can download this free version of the classic novel.
10. Seamstress Touch
At the end of the day, Tiger is and for many years to come will be the greatest golfer in the world. Regardless of whether he plays in the Masters this year, Tiger should download the $2.99 Seamstress Touch app so you can properly alter his next Green Jacket.
