The App Store is filled with apps that beg this question: Why? Regardless of the answer, adolescent boys and grown kids alike will love some of the most obnoxious apps to annoy friends and coworkers. It’s like a virtual trip to the dollar store for a whoopee cushion.
iPhone apps Featuring Obnoxious Bodily Functions and Fluids
Delight in the disgust of your friends and coworkers with a chorus from the Belching Keyboard app (99 cents). I’m the coolest aunt in my family since I showed up at my nephew’s football game with this app. Hit the keys for various belches and farts.
If that just isn’t enough bodily function nastiness for you, check out the iLeanAndFart app (99 cents). Select the trajectory of the fart and touch the image again to let one rip. I would have loved to be on the research and development team for this obnoxious app.
Growing up in southern Indiana, it was a rare day when some young man and sometimes lady didn’t spit a loogie in my presence. The nostalgic iLoogie app (99 cents) comes complete with a zit covered, big eyed cartoon character that hocks and then spits the disgusting loogie at your iPhone screen. It made me cringe. I showed it my mom and she said, “That makes me sick! Who thinks of these things?” Exactly mom, exactly.
Rounding out the most obnoxious of the bodily fluid and function apps is the Zit Picker app (99 cents). See how many zits you can pop in the time allotted and share your high scores on Facebook. The face blinks at you while you pop its zits making this app eerily realistic. Up the ante by uploading your arch-nemesis’ photo and watch the zits pile up!
This one has more to do with enticing body parts than functions, think Pam Anderson and Kim Kardashian. Is there a celebrity or acquaintance whose body parts you would like to see shake? The Wobble iBoobs app (99 cents for a limited time and definitely rated R) let’s you upload photos and then target bits to wobble.
iPhone apps That Ask: Noise, what noise?
Everyone should download the free Canned Ham app, which includes free sounds like applause, a gong, a train, a doorbell and even a champagne pop. I tricked my parents into thinking there was a cricket in the house, making for hours of fun! The noises continue until you shake the iPhone so feel free to hide your phone for people to track down the annoying noise or just use it to get out of phone calls with your crazy aunt: “The door bells ringing, gotta go Aunt Sue!”
The Dentist Drill app (99 cents) will thrill dentists, serial killers and Dexter fans. All it does is make a drill noise coupled with a menacing photo of a dentist’s drill, but that drill noise could pack a big punch if you take it to the latest Saw movie with you.
iPhone apps For Obnoxious Predictions
Still debating the age old question, boxers or briefs? Fret no more. Just download the free What’s Your Undie? app, answer the questions and get shopping.
If you enjoy a silly giggle ever day, the Fartoscopes app (99 cents) is for you. Apparently, “Today you will reek what you sew.”
Finally, if you still don’t respect your body and its functions after all this and are bound and determined to get skin cancer, the Tan Timer app (99 cents) is for you. This app allows you to set an alarm to go off when it’s time to flip. It’s like making a roast, only using your own body.
