The digital age has made us more interconnected than ever, but not everyone is eager to share every aspect of their lives online. Some people prefer to maintain their privacy, rarely or never posting on social media.
These individuals aren’t anti-social or technologically challenged; in fact, they often possess a unique set of traits that sets them apart.
In this article, we’re going to explore these 9 distinct traits that are typically found in people who choose to keep their lives more private. So, let’s get started.
1. They value authentic connections
If you’re wondering why some people steer clear of social media, consider their preference for genuine, face-to-face interactions.
Those who rarely post on social media often prioritize quality over quantity in their relationships. They may have fewer connections, but the ones they do have tend to be deep and meaningful. They believe in investing their time and energy into nurturing these relationships, rather than broadcasting their lives to a wider, but more superficial audience online.
Their belief is not unfounded. Research has shown that human beings thrive on authentic connections and genuine interactions. The constant stream of updates on social media often lacks the depth and context necessary for meaningful communication.
This doesn’t mean that they are technophobes or socially inept. On the contrary, they are often quite adept at navigating the digital world. Their choice to abstain from posting stems from a conscious decision to seek more meaningful connections in the real world.
As Carl Jung famously said, “The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.” This perfectly encapsulates the value these individuals place on authentic, transformative relationships.
2. They appreciate the present moment
Another trait I’ve noticed in people who avoid posting on social media is their ability to live fully in the present moment.
Let me share a personal example. I have a friend who has never had a social media account. We once went on a hiking trip together, and I was struck by his ability to truly enjoy the experience. While I was busy trying to capture the perfect shot for my Instagram, he was taking in the view, breathing in the fresh air, and genuinely enjoying the beauty around us.
It was a powerful reminder for me. Social media often encourages us to live our lives through a lens, always looking for the next photo opportunity rather than truly experiencing the moment. But my friend’s approach reminded me of the value of being fully present, of truly experiencing life as it unfolds.
This is not to say that everyone who uses social media is disconnected from reality. But those who consciously choose to avoid posting often have a heightened ability to appreciate and live in the moment.
As mindfulness guru Jon Kabat-Zinn said, “The best way to capture moments is to pay attention. This is how we cultivate mindfulness.” And I couldn’t agree more.
3. They demonstrate a balanced ego
An interesting trait common among people who avoid social media is their balanced sense of self-worth.
They don’t need the validation of likes, shares or comments to feel good about themselves. Instead, they derive their self-esteem from their actions, their values, and their relationships in the real world.
In my book, “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego”, I explore the concept of ego and how it impacts our lives. I delve into the idea that finding balance with our ego can lead to a more meaningful and fulfilling life.
This balance is often apparent in those who choose not to post on social media. They are less driven by external validation and more by their internal values. They understand that self-worth is not about how many likes they get on a post, but about living in alignment with their core values.
As psychologist Abraham Maslow once said, “What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself.” This heightened self-awareness often found in non-social media posters allows them to live with a balanced ego, contributing to their overall happiness and contentment.
4. They have strong self-discipline
Self-discipline is another trait often found in people who choose to stay off social media. The instant gratification that comes from likes, comments, and shares can be addictive, and it takes a strong will to resist this lure.
From a psychological perspective, self-discipline is a key factor in achieving long-term goals and avoiding harmful behaviors. It’s the ability to control one’s feelings and overcome one’s weaknesses. It’s about making the right decisions, even when they’re not the easiest ones.
People who avoid posting on social media show this trait by choosing not to give into the immediate gratification that social media provides. They resist the temptation to constantly check for updates or notifications. Instead, they choose to spend their time on more productive activities.
This is not an easy feat in today’s digital age where our devices are always within reach. But research suggests that high self-discipline contributes significantly to success in life.
As psychologist Roy F. Baumeister points out in his research, “Self-control is like a muscle: the more you use it, the stronger it gets. Avoiding something tempting once will help you develop the ability to resist other tempters in the future.” So, staying off social media could, in fact, be seen as an exercise in self-discipline.
5. They are surprisingly more social
Here’s a trait that might surprise you: those who refrain from posting on social media often tend to be more social in real life.
Now, this might seem counter-intuitive. After all, isn’t social media all about connecting with others? Well, yes and no. While it’s true that platforms like Facebook and Instagram allow us to connect with people across the globe, they often can’t replace the depth and quality of face-to-face interactions.
Those who avoid regularly posting on social media often spend more time nurturing their relationships in the real world. They prefer to meet friends for coffee, engage in meaningful conversations, and create shared experiences.
While they might not have thousands of followers online, they often have a close-knit circle of friends offline. They understand the value of genuine human connection and choose quality over quantity when it comes to their relationships.
Renowned psychologist Susan Pinker once said, “Face-to-face contact releases a whole cascade of neurotransmitters and, like a vaccine, they protect you now, in the present, and well into the future.” So you see, by choosing real-world interaction over online engagement, these individuals are actually making a very socially savvy choice.
6. They have increased focus and productivity
People who limit their social media use often exhibit increased focus and productivity.
In our digitally dominated world, where notifications and updates can distract us at any moment, maintaining focus on a single task can be a challenge. However, those who avoid regularly posting on social media often escape this constant barrage of digital interruptions.
Without the need to constantly check for likes, comments, or shares, they find it easier to concentrate on the task at hand. This increased focus allows for greater productivity in their personal and professional lives.
Moreover, by avoiding the often time-consuming process of crafting the perfect post or scrolling through endless feeds, they free up more time to engage in productive activities.
As famed psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi points out in his work on flow – a state of intense focus and creativity – “The best moments in our lives are not the passive, receptive, relaxing times… The best moments usually occur if a person’s body or mind is stretched to its limits in a voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile.” So by avoiding social media distractions, these individuals are better positioned to reach this state of flow and achieve their goals.
7. They have a heightened sense of reality
With the constant stream of highlight reels on social media, it’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing our lives to others’. But those who choose not to post on social media often have a more grounded sense of reality.
I remember feeling overwhelmed and dissatisfied after spending hours scrolling through picture-perfect posts. But over time, I realized that these posts were not accurate representations of people’s lives, but curated snapshots designed to show the best moments.
People who step away from social media often gain a clearer perspective of what real life is like, untouched by filters and edits. They understand that everyone has ups and downs, and they don’t let others’ curated lives affect their self-esteem or happiness.
As renowned psychologist Albert Ellis said, “The art of love is largely the art of persistence.” Real life isn’t always picture perfect, and it’s important to persist through the ups and downs rather than getting lost in unrealistically curated online versions of life.
8. They value their privacy
One of the most apparent traits of people who avoid posting on social media is their high regard for privacy.
In an age where every detail of our lives can be shared with just a few clicks, maintaining privacy has become a conscious choice. These individuals value their personal space and prefer to keep certain aspects of their lives away from public scrutiny.
This doesn’t mean they have something to hide. Rather, they believe that some parts of life are meant to be private and cherish the freedom that comes with it. Whether it’s a family gathering, a personal achievement, or even a challenging experience, they prefer to experience these moments in a more personal and intimate setting.
Respecting one’s own privacy also shows a level of self-respect. It reflects an understanding that their life’s worth is not determined by public opinion or affirmation.
As esteemed psychologist Erik Erikson once said, “In the social jungle of human existence, there is no feeling of being alive without a sense of identity.” For many who shun social media, preserving their privacy is a vital part of maintaining this sense of identity.
Final thoughts: It’s a conscious choice
At the heart of our discussion about people who choose to stay off social media is the concept of conscious choice.
Each trait we’ve explored reflects a decision to live life in a certain way – to value authenticity over popularity, to prioritize real-world connections over digital ones, to live in the present moment and to guard one’s privacy.
The choice to refrain from posting on social media isn’t about rejecting technology or being anti-social. Instead, it’s about choosing a path that aligns with their values and contributes to their overall well-being.
In my book “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego”, I delve deeper into the idea of making conscious choices that add meaning and depth to our lives. It’s a concept that resonates strongly with those who choose to maintain their privacy on social media.
As we navigate our own journey, it’s worth reflecting on these traits. We might not choose to abstain from social media entirely, but we can certainly learn from those who do. After all, at the end of the day, it’s not about the number of likes or followers we have, but the quality and richness of the lives we lead.
As renowned psychologist Carl Rogers once said, “The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction not a destination.” So whether you’re an avid social media user or prefer to keep your life offline, remember that the choice is always yours. Choose consciously, live authentically and embrace the journey.
