I’ve always admired people who can openly express exactly how they feel. For some, it seems effortless—they speak their mind with clarity and confidence.
But not everyone finds it so easy.
Many people struggle to put their true emotions into words, whether it’s fear of vulnerability, not wanting to upset others, or simply not knowing how to articulate what’s really going on inside.
Instead of being direct, they rely on vague, generic phrases—ones that don’t quite reveal the full picture.
If you’ve ever felt like someone wasn’t telling you the whole story about how they feel, or if you’ve caught yourself dodging honesty in conversation, these phrases might sound familiar.
1) “I’m fine”
This is probably the most common go-to phrase when someone doesn’t want to reveal how they’re really feeling.
On the surface, it sounds neutral—maybe even reassuring. But more often than not, “I’m fine” is a defense mechanism, a way to avoid deeper conversation or vulnerability.
People who struggle with expressing their emotions might use this phrase to downplay their feelings, whether they’re hurt, frustrated, or overwhelmed.
The problem? It shuts down communication. Instead of inviting support or understanding, it leaves others guessing what’s really going on.
2) “It is what it is”
I used to say this all the time whenever something bothered me, but I didn’t want to dwell on it.
A friendship drifting apart? “It is what it is”. A tough situation at work? “It is what it is”.
At first, I thought I was just being practical—accepting things as they were. But in reality, I was avoiding my true feelings.
Instead of admitting that something hurt or frustrated me, I brushed it off with this vague phrase, as if that would make it easier to move on.
Looking back, I realize that saying “It is what it is” stopped me from fully processing my emotions. It also kept others at a distance because they never really knew what was going on in my head.
3) “I’m just tired”
Sometimes, it’s true. Exhaustion is real. Life gets busy. Sleep is elusive.
But other times, “I’m just tired” is a convenient way to avoid saying what’s really wrong.
I’ve used this phrase when I was emotionally drained but didn’t want to explain why. When I felt hurt but didn’t want to seem dramatic. When my mind was racing with thoughts I wasn’t ready to share.
The thing is, exhaustion isn’t always physical. Sometimes, it’s the weight of unspoken feelings, the exhaustion of holding everything in.
And when we default to “I’m just tired”, we miss the chance, to be honest—with ourselves and with others—about what’s really going on inside.
4) “Never mind”
There’s a moment right before these words come out—when something is on the tip of your tongue, but you hesitate.
Maybe you’re afraid of being misunderstood. Maybe you don’t want to seem too sensitive. Or maybe you’ve convinced yourself that what you were about to say doesn’t really matter.
So instead of expressing what’s on your mind, you shut it down with a quick “never mind.”
I’ve done this more times than I can count. Started to open up, then second-guessed myself and backed out. But every time I dismissed my own words, I sent the message—to myself and to others—that my feelings weren’t worth sharing.
5) “I’m just stressed”
Stress is a catch-all explanation. It’s an easy way to brush off deeper emotions without having to get into them.
But here’s the thing—stress isn’t just about a busy schedule or a long to-do list. Studies have shown that when people say they’re “stressed,” they’re often masking other emotions like anxiety, frustration, or even sadness.
I’ve done this myself. Instead of admitting I was overwhelmed or upset, I’d just say, “I’m stressed.” It felt safer and less vulnerable. But the more I hid behind that phrase, the less I actually processed what was really going on.
And the truth is when everything gets labeled as stress, it becomes harder to figure out what’s actually bothering you—and even harder for others to help.
6) “I’m okay”
Sometimes, people say “I’m okay” because they genuinely are. But other times, it’s a quiet way of saying, “I don’t want to talk about it.”
Maybe they don’t want to burden anyone. Maybe they’re scared of being judged. Or maybe they don’t even know how to put their feelings into words.
If you’ve ever said this when you weren’t actually okay, you’re not alone. It’s hard to open up, especially when emotions feel messy or overwhelming.
But here’s the thing—there’s no shame in not being okay. And the people who care about you? They’d rather know the truth than be left guessing.
7) “It doesn’t matter”
But it does.
Maybe not to everyone. Maybe not in the grand scheme of things. But if it’s on your mind, if it’s weighing on your heart, then it matters.
Dismissing your own feelings doesn’t make them disappear. It just buries them deeper, making it harder to be understood—not just by others, but by yourself.
The bottom line
If you’ve recognized yourself in these phrases, you’re not alone. Many people struggle with expressing their true emotions—sometimes without even realizing it.
But here’s the truth: your feelings are valid, and they deserve to be acknowledged, not hidden behind vague words.
Studies have shown that emotional suppression doesn’t just affect communication—it can also increase stress and impact mental well-being.
Bottling things up may feel easier in the moment, but over time, it creates distance between you and the people who care about you.
So start small. The next time you catch yourself defaulting to one of these phrases, pause. Ask yourself “What am I really feeling? “What do I actually want to say?”
It takes practice, but honesty—both with yourself and others—builds deeper connections. And in the end, that’s what truly matters.
