We all have habits we want to build—waking up earlier, exercising more, eating healthier.
At first, we’re motivated.
We make a plan, set goals, maybe even buy a new planner or download an app.
But then? Life happens.
Old routines take over, and before we know it, we’re back where we started.
Why is it so hard to make good habits stick?
Turns out, there’s more to it than just willpower.
According to experts, the key lies in understanding how habits actually form—and using that knowledge to our advantage.
Here’s what they say works best:
1) Start small—really small
Big changes are exciting as they make us feel like we’re turning our lives around in an instant.
But that’s exactly why they fail.
When we try to overhaul everything at once, we burn out quickly.
Motivation fades, and the habit never fully sticks.
Experts say the key is to start ridiculously small—so small that it almost feels too easy.
Want to read more? Start with just one page a day; want to exercise? Do five minutes instead of an hour.
When something feels effortless, you’re more likely to keep doing it.
Once it becomes second nature, you can build from there.
2) Tie it to something you already do
I used to be terrible at flossing; I’d always tell myself I’d start, but after a few days, I’d forget—until my next dentist appointment reminded me.
Then I tried something different.
Instead of relying on willpower, I tied flossing to a habit I already had: Brushing my teeth.
Every night, the moment I put my toothbrush down, I’d reach for the floss.
No debating, no excuses—it was just part of the routine.
Experts call this “habit stacking.”
When you attach a new habit to something you already do consistently, it becomes automatic.
Now? Flossing is second nature.
And the best part? You can use this trick for anything—meditating after your morning coffee, doing push-ups after checking your emails, or drinking water every time you sit down at your desk.
3) Make it as easy as possible
We like to think we have strong willpower, but in reality, we’re heavily influenced by our environment.
That’s why grocery stores put candy near the checkout—if it’s right in front of you, you’re more likely to grab it without thinking.
The same principle applies to habits: If something is easy and convenient, you’ll do it more often.
The less effort it takes to start, the more likely you are to follow through.
Small tweaks like these remove friction, making good habits feel almost effortless.
4) Don’t rely on motivation
Motivation is great—when it’s there.
The problem? It’s unreliable.
Some days, you’ll feel unstoppable; other days, you won’t want to do anything at all.
That’s why experts say discipline beats motivation every time.
Instead of waiting to “feel like it,” set a schedule and stick to it, no matter how small the action.
Success isn’t about willpower—it’s about creating a routine that keeps you going even when motivation fades.
5) Focus on identity, not just results
For the longest time, I struggled to stay consistent with working out.
I’d set goals—lose 10 pounds, run a certain distance—but once I hit them (or lost motivation), I’d stop.
Then I shifted my mindset. Instead of focusing on the outcome, I started telling myself: “I’m the kind of person who works out regularly.”
It wasn’t about a specific goal anymore—it was about becoming someone who moves their body every day.
Experts say this identity-based approach is powerful because it changes how you see yourself.
When you believe this is just who I am, habits become a natural part of your life, not just something you force yourself to do.
6) Allow yourself to mess up
Most people think missing a day means failure. But the truth is, slipping up is part of the process.
Experts say the real danger isn’t skipping once—it’s letting one missed day turn into a week, then a month.
The key is to get back on track as soon as possible, without guilt or overthinking.
I used to beat myself up when I broke a streak, thinking I had to start over from zero—but habits aren’t all-or-nothing.
If you miss a workout, do one tomorrow; if you forget to journal, pick it up the next day.
Progress isn’t lost just because you took a small step back.
7) Make it enjoyable
If a habit feels like a chore, you’ll eventually find a reason to quit.
That’s why experts suggest making it something you actually enjoy.
Want to get in shape? Try a dance class instead of forcing yourself to run.
Want to read more? Pick books that excite you, not the ones you think you should read.
Our brains crave rewards, so when something feels good, we’re more likely to keep doing it.
Pairing a habit with something pleasurable—like listening to your favorite podcast while cleaning or having a fancy coffee while working—can turn even the most boring tasks into something you look forward to.
8) Be patient
Real change takes time.
We often expect instant results, but habits don’t work that way.
They build slowly, almost invisibly, until one day, they’re just part of who we are.
It’s not about perfection or quick wins—it’s about showing up, day after day, even when progress feels small.
The habits that truly stick are the ones we’re willing to keep doing, long before we see the results.
Why small changes make the biggest difference
Most people think building good habits is about making huge, life-changing decisions.
But in reality, it’s the small, consistent actions that shape who we become.
James Clear once wrote, “Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become.”
That means every time you show up—no matter how small the effort—you’re reinforcing the identity of someone who sticks with it.
And that’s what really matters—not perfection, not overnight success.
Just the quiet, steady commitment to becoming a little better every day.
