Love isn’t always spoken. Sometimes, it’s all about actions.
As Tina Fey, founder of the Love Connection blog and a relationship expert, I’ve seen love take on many forms. But when words are out of the equation, how can you tell if someone truly adores you? It’s all about spotting key behaviors.
In this article, we’re going to delve into the eight typical behaviors that silently scream, “I love you.” These are behaviors that don’t rely on verbal expression but are just as powerful in conveying genuine affection.
Let’s get started.
1) They are always there for you
Love isn’t just about grand gestures and romantic words. It’s also about being there in times of need.
In a world full of distractions and commitments, time is a valuable commodity. When someone consistently shows up for you, it means they’re prioritizing you over other things. They are investing time and effort into your happiness, and that’s a strong sign of love.
Whether it’s showing up at your doorstep with chicken soup when you’re sick, or being the first person to congratulate you on your promotion – they make an effort to be there for you.
This behavior signifies that they genuinely care about your well-being and want to play an active role in your life. Actions, after all, speak louder than words and being there for someone is one of the deepest expressions of love.
2) They remember small details
As someone who has been analyzing and studying relationships for years, I’ve noticed something fascinating about people in love. They remember the small details.
When someone loves you, they’ll remember your likes, dislikes, and even those random stories you told them about your childhood. It’s not just about remembering your birthday or your favorite color. It’s about remembering that you hate cilantro or that you love the smell of fresh rain.
This behavior shows that they listen to you attentively and value what you say. They store these little details because everything about you matters to them.
As Maya Angelou wisely said, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
When someone remembers the small things about you, it makes you feel seen, heard, and loved – even if they don’t always say it.
3) They respect your boundaries
In my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I emphasize the importance of setting and respecting boundaries in a relationship.
When someone genuinely loves you, they respect your boundaries. It’s a sign of their deep respect and consideration for your feelings and well-being. They understand that love isn’t about possession or control, but about mutual respect and understanding.
If they know you’re uncomfortable with something, they won’t push you to do it. They respect your personal space, your time, and your decisions. They know that your individuality and autonomy are just as important as your relationship with them.
The way someone respects your boundaries is a silent way of expressing their love and respect for you. It’s an important aspect of a healthy relationship that I delve into in my book. If you’re interested in learning more about setting healthy boundaries in relationships, I highly recommend checking it out.
4) They argue with you
Yes, you read that right. Contrary to what many people believe, arguing can be a sign of love. Now, I don’t mean destructive or abusive arguments. I’m talking about healthy disagreements where both parties express their feelings and opinions.
When someone loves you, they care about your perspective and they’re invested in your relationship. This means they won’t shy away from addressing issues or disagreements. They will express their thoughts and engage in constructive discussions.
If they didn’t care about you or the relationship, they would simply ignore the issues or walk away. But because they love you and want to make things work, they’re willing to tackle difficult conversations.
It’s not about the argument itself, but how it’s handled. Healthy arguing involves mutual respect, open communication, and a willingness to compromise. It’s a sign that they value your relationship enough to fight for it, even when things get tough.
5) They encourage your growth
In my personal experience and years of working with couples, I’ve noticed a beautiful trend among those who genuinely love their partners – they are their biggest cheerleaders.
When someone loves you, they believe in your potential and want to see you grow. They encourage you to pursue your dreams, explore new opportunities, and become the best version of yourself. They don’t feel threatened by your success but rather celebrate it.
They could be encouraging you to take that painting class you’ve always wanted to, or supporting your decision to go back to school. It’s about them wanting the best for you and helping you achieve it.
Love isn’t about holding someone back or keeping them small. It’s about boosting each other up and growing together. So if they’re your number one fan and biggest motivator, chances are, they love you more than they let on.
6) They show vulnerability
Love can be raw and messy. It takes courage to open up and show vulnerability to another person. If someone is willing to let their guard down and share their deepest thoughts, fears, and insecurities with you, it’s a sign they genuinely love you.
This level of openness shows that they trust you and are comfortable being their authentic selves around you. They’re not afraid to show their flaws or discuss their past mistakes.
It’s about letting you into their world, the good and the bad, the joy and the pain. It’s not always easy or comfortable, but it’s a powerful sign of love. If they’re willing to be vulnerable with you, it means they see you as someone worth taking risks for.
Vulnerability is not a sign of weakness but a testament of courage and trust. It’s about showing up, being seen, and letting yourself be known – all in the name of love.
7) They make sacrifices for you
As a relationship expert and someone who’s been in love, I can tell you that love often involves sacrifices.
When someone loves you, they’re willing to make sacrifices for your happiness. It could be as simple as watching a movie they don’t like because you love it, or as significant as moving to a new city for your job opportunity.
This doesn’t mean they disregard their needs or happiness for yours, but they find joy in seeing you happy and content. They understand that sometimes, love means putting the other person’s needs ahead of their own.
An old time saying once said, “Love…it is not merely to share your happiness, but to feel happiness in the joy of the other.” When someone loves you, they embody this sentiment and are willing to make sacrifices for your joy.
8) They forgive your mistakes
Nobody’s perfect. We all make mistakes. But when someone loves you, they don’t hold your mistakes against you. Instead, they offer forgiveness and understanding.
Being in love doesn’t mean you won’t ever hurt each other or mess up. But it does mean that you choose to forgive, learn, and grow from these mistakes together.
They understand that you’re human and that slip-ups are part of life. They’re willing to work through these errors with you and help you become a better person.
This doesn’t mean they tolerate harmful or repetitive destructive behavior. It means they have the capacity to forgive genuine mistakes and move forward together.
If they’ve seen you at your worst and chose to stay, learn, and forgive, it’s because they truly love you – even if they don’t always say it out loud.
Conclusion
Love is a beautiful and complex emotion that often defies words. But actions, as they say, speak louder. If someone is displaying these eight behaviors, chances are they genuinely love you, even if they haven’t said it out loud.
Remember, communication is key in any relationship. If you’re unsure about someone’s feelings for you, don’t be afraid to have an open and honest conversation about it.
For more insights on love and relationships, do check out my book Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship. It’s filled with practical advice on how to build healthier, stronger relationships.
Love is a journey, not a destination. So enjoy every step of it. And remember, sometimes love doesn’t need to be spoken to be felt.
