Ever felt like you’re running on empty, whilst everyone else is full steam ahead?
Hey there, I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder of Hack Spirit, and a self-confessed psychology enthusiast. I’ve always been more of an introvert. You know the type:
– Prefers a quiet night in over a wild party
– Needs alone time to recharge
– Struggles with small talk
– Finds big crowds overwhelming.
For years, it felt like I was fighting against the current, trying to keep up in a world designed for extroverts.
Now, I don’t need to tell you that being an introvert can be exhausting. But psychology has identified 7 specific situations that really drain us introverts.
In this article, we’ll dive into these situations. Maybe they’ll resonate with you as much as they did with me.
Let’s get started.
1) Social gatherings
Now, don’t get me wrong. As an introvert, I don’t despise people. In fact, I enjoy meaningful connections and deep conversations. But social gatherings? They’re a whole different ball game.
A room full of people I barely know, engaging in small talk about the weather or the latest sports scores, can be utterly exhausting. It’s not that I don’t care about these things; it’s just that they don’t energize me the way they do extroverts.
Psychology points out that introverts tend to prefer one-on-one conversations and feel drained by large social situations. We thrive in intimate settings, not in noisy parties or crowded events.
If you’re like me and find yourself drained after social gatherings, remember this: it’s okay to step away for a while. Find a quiet corner, take a walk outside, or even sneak off to the bathroom for a few minutes of solitude.
Remember, it’s not about being anti-social, but rather about preserving your energy and staying true to your introverted nature.
2) Networking events
I remember attending my first networking event. I walked into a room packed with professionals, all eager to exchange business cards and pitch their ideas. The noise was deafening, and the energy around me was palpable.
As an introvert, I felt like a fish out of water.
Everyone seemed so comfortable, so in their element. But for me, the thought of selling myself to strangers was incredibly daunting. I ended up spending most of the night quietly sipping my drink in a corner, feeling utterly drained.
It wasn’t until later that I understood why these events were such an energy sapper for me. As psychologist Carl Jung, the man who coined the terms “introvert” and “extrovert”, once said, “Each person has both an extroverted side and an introverted side, with one being more dominant than the other.”
For introverts like us, networking events are like running a marathon with no training – it’s not that we can’t do it; it’s just that it’s not our natural state.
So, if you’re an introvert heading to a networking event, remember Jung’s words. It’s okay to be introverted. Don’t force yourself to be something you’re not.
Instead, find your own way to network that aligns with your personality. Whether it’s striking up deep conversations with a few individuals or connecting online afterwards, do what feels right for you.
3) Open office environments
I can still remember my first job in an open office environment. Desks were lined up in rows, everyone could see everyone, and noise was a constant companion.
For some, it might have been a thriving, energetic environment. But for me? It was a daily struggle.
Don’t get me wrong; I loved my job and my co-workers. But the constant interaction, the lack of privacy, and the incessant noise left me feeling drained at the end of each day.
I found it hard to concentrate on my tasks with so much going on around me. Even lunchtime wasn’t a respite, with colleagues chatting away at the communal tables.
Eventually, I started taking walks during my lunch breaks. Just being alone for a few minutes helped me recharge and get through the day.
So, if you’re an introvert working in an open office environment, know that it’s okay to take some time for yourself. Don’t feel pressured to engage in every conversation or participate in every group activity. It’s okay to put on some headphones and focus on your work or take a solitary break when you need it.
4) Constant digital communication
In our hyper-connected world, being constantly available online is almost a norm. Social media notifications, work emails at all hours, endless group chats – it can be overwhelming.
I remember when I first installed a popular messaging app on my phone. Suddenly, I was expected to reply to messages immediately, regardless of the time. It felt like I was never truly off the clock.
As an introvert, this constant bombardment of digital communication was exhausting. I felt like I was always “on,” with no time to recharge.
Interestingly, a study from the University of Gothenburg in Sweden backs up this experience. The research found that heavy use of mobile phones and computers can be linked to increased stress, sleep disorders, and depressive symptoms.
So, if you’re an introvert feeling overwhelmed by constant digital communication, remember that it’s okay to disconnect. Set boundaries for when you’ll check your emails or social media. Give yourself permission to switch off and recharge.
5) Public speaking
As an introvert, standing in front of a crowd and speaking can be a daunting task. I remember the first time I had to give a presentation to a large group. My heart was pounding, my palms were sweaty, and my mind was racing.
It wasn’t the fear of messing up or forgetting what to say. It was the sheer energy it took to command the room, to engage everyone, to be the center of attention.
And afterwards? I felt like I needed a week-long nap.
Introverts typically feel more comfortable with written communication, enjoying the time and space it provides to gather our thoughts.
Public speaking, on the other hand, can be like running an unexpected marathon for introverts – physically and mentally exhausting.
So if you’re an introvert who finds public speaking daunting, remember this: preparation is key. Take your time to fully understand your material and rehearse your presentation.
And remember, it’s okay to let your audience know that you’re an introvert. Being honest about who you are can help them understand your style better.
6) Being constantly “on”
I’ve always been someone who values my downtime. Time to relax, to recharge, to just be. But there was a time in my life, a particularly busy period, when downtime seemed like a luxury I couldn’t afford.
Work demands, social commitments, even family time – it felt like every moment of my day was accounted for. I was constantly “on,” with no time to just be alone with my thoughts.
It was during this time that I discovered the words of Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung: “The capacity to be alone is the capacity to love. It may look paradoxical to you, but it’s not. It is an existential truth: only those persons who are capable of being alone are capable of love, of sharing, of going into the deepest core of another person.”
Introverts, like myself, often need solitude to recharge and reflect. When we’re denied this solitude, we can start to feel worn out and depleted.
So if you’re an introvert feeling overwhelmed by the constant demands on your time, remember Carl Jung’s words. It’s not only okay to take time for yourself – it’s necessary. Don’t be afraid to set boundaries and carve out some alone time in your schedule. Your mental health will thank you for it.
7) Always being labeled as “shy”
Here’s something that might surprise you: being an introvert doesn’t necessarily mean being shy.
I remember always being labeled as the “quiet one” or the “shy guy” in school. Yes, I preferred my own company to large groups, and yes, I was more of a listener than a talker. But shy? Not really.
Being introverted simply means that we recharge from within, while extroverts gain energy from others. But society often misunderstands this, labeling introverts as shy or even antisocial.
Introverts can be outgoing and sociable when we want to be – it just takes more of our energy to do so.
So if you’re an introvert constantly battling the “shy” label, remember this: there’s nothing wrong with being an introvert. Embrace your nature and don’t let misconceptions define you.
Here’s a practical tip: start educating the people around you about what it truly means to be an introvert. It could be as simple as sharing an article (like this one!) or starting a conversation about personality types. The more understanding there is, the less exhausting it will be for us introverts trying to fit into an extroverted world.
Conclusion
Being an introvert in an extroverted world can indeed be exhausting. But remember, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being an introvert. Introversion is not a flaw, it’s just a different way of experiencing the world.
My advice? Embrace your introverted nature. Set boundaries for your energy, take time to recharge, and educate others about what being an introverted really means.
And most importantly, be kind to yourself. Remember that it’s okay to step away from situations that drain you and seek out those that refill your energy reserves.
After all, being true to ourselves is the first step towards living a happier, less exhausting life.
