We often equate high achievement with high confidence, right? But what if I told you they don’t always go hand in hand? Sometimes, those who consistently knock it out of the park are also those wrestling with self-doubt.
That’s right, you can be an overachiever and still suffer from low self-confidence. In fact, some of the most successful people I’ve met are the most insecure.
This paradox can be confusing, and it’s often hard to spot. But there are signs.
Stay tuned for the 7 signs you’re a high achiever with low self-confidence – a tour into the peculiar world of accomplished individuals who still struggle with their self-worth. Let’s uncover the human side of achievement and confidence.
1) Overworking yourself
High achievers are often known for their relentless work ethic. But when does it cross the line?
One clear sign you’re a high achiever with low self-confidence is if you’re constantly overworking yourself. You might think that the more hours you put in, the more successful you’ll be.
And while hard work is crucial, it’s equally important to balance it with rest and self-care.
If you find yourself constantly burning the midnight oil, perpetually stressed, and feeling guilty whenever you take a break, it could be a sign of low self-confidence.
Rather than trusting in your abilities and the quality of your work, you’re relying on sheer volume to prove your worth.
Remember, success is not just about working hard. It’s also about working smart and taking care of yourself. So if you’re caught in this cycle of overwork, it might be time to reassess your self-confidence.
2) Seeking constant validation
I remember when I first started writing. I’d spend hours crafting a piece, and then immediately send it off to a friend for feedback. I wasn’t looking for constructive criticism or ways to improve — I just wanted them to tell me it was good.
This need for constant validation is another sign of a high achiever with low self-confidence. You might find yourself always seeking approval, whether it’s from your boss, colleagues, or even from likes on social media.
The problem is, no amount of external validation can truly make up for a lack of self-confidence. It’s like trying to fill a leaky bucket — no matter how much you pour in, it’ll never be enough.
So if you find yourself constantly seeking approval from others, it might be time to start looking inward and building your own sense of self-worth. Trust me, it makes a world of difference.
3) Perfectionism
Perfectionism is a trait commonly associated with high achievers. It’s the driving force that pushes us to continually improve, to never settle for mediocrity. But did you know that it’s also linked with low self-confidence?
According to research, perfectionists tend to struggle with self-doubt and fear of failure. They set unrealistic standards for themselves and see anything less than perfect as a failure.
This can lead to a vicious cycle of setting impossibly high goals, falling short, and then beating oneself up for not being ‘good enough’.
If you find yourself caught in this perfectionist trap, it’s important to remember that nobody is perfect. Mistakes and failures are part of the learning process, not a reflection of your worth or abilities.
So cut yourself some slack, and remember that good enough is often just that — good enough.
4) Undervaluing your accomplishments
High achievers with low self-confidence often have a tendency to undervalue their accomplishments. You might have a resume filled with impressive achievements, but when asked about them, you might brush them off as “no big deal” or attribute them to luck.
This is often tied to a phenomenon known as impostor syndrome, where you feel like a fraud, despite clear evidence of your abilities and achievements.
If this sounds like you, it’s important to start recognizing and owning your successes. They’re not flukes or just the result of good luck — they’re the result of your hard work, skills, and talent. Don’t shy away from giving yourself the credit you deserve.
5) Fear of failure
I remember a time when I turned down a promotion because I was afraid I wouldn’t live up to the new role. Looking back, I see it was my fear of failure that held me back.
Fear of failure is a common sign of low self-confidence among high achievers. You might find yourself avoiding new challenges or opportunities because you’re afraid of not doing well.
This fear can be paralyzing and prevent you from reaching your full potential.
It’s important to remember that everyone fails at some point and that’s okay. Failure is not a reflection of your worth, but an opportunity to learn and grow. So don’t let fear hold you back from taking on new challenges or stepping out of your comfort zone.
6) Constant comparison
A common trait among high achievers with low self-confidence is the constant need to compare yourself to others.
You might find yourself looking at colleagues or peers and thinking they’re doing better, achieving more, or simply ‘have it together’ in a way you don’t.
This relentless comparison can be harmful to your self-esteem and can feed into feelings of inadequacy or impostor syndrome.
It’s important to remember that everyone’s journey is different, and what you see on the surface isn’t always reflective of the whole picture.
Rather than comparing yourself to others, focus on your own growth and progress. After all, the only person you should try to be better than is the person you were yesterday.
7) Neglecting your own needs
The most crucial sign to watch out for is consistently neglecting your own needs. High achievers with low self-confidence often put others’ needs before their own, believing their own wants and needs to be less important.
This can lead to burnout and a further decrease in self-confidence. It’s important to remember that taking care of yourself is not selfish.
You can’t pour from an empty cup. Prioritizing your own wellbeing is vital for maintaining both your physical and mental health. So make sure to carve out time for self-care and activities that bring you joy.
You are worth it.
Embracing the journey
Navigating the intricacies of high achievement and low self-confidence can be a challenging journey. Yet, it’s important to remember that self-confidence isn’t a fixed trait – it’s a skill that can be cultivated.
Research has shown that self-compassion, or treating oneself with kindness and understanding in the face of mistakes or failure, can significantly boost self-confidence.
So, if you’re a high achiever wrestling with self-doubt, know that you’re not alone. And remember, your worth is not defined by your achievements or failures, but by who you are as a person.
Take solace in your journey of growth and self-discovery. Embrace your imperfections, celebrate your accomplishments, and most importantly, be kind to yourself. The path to self-confidence is not a straight one, but every step you take is a step forward.
You are more than your achievements and more than your doubts. You are enough. Just as you are.
