I’ve had my fair share of awkward conversations—those moments when I say something and immediately wish I could take it back.
Social awkwardness isn’t always a bad thing, but sometimes, the way we phrase things can make us come across as desperate, even when we don’t mean to.
And the worst part? We often don’t even realize we’re doing it.
The good news is that small changes in the way we speak can make a big difference. By avoiding certain phrases, we can sound more confident, comfortable, and natural in social situations.
Here are some common phrases socially awkward people use that can unintentionally make them sound desperate—and what to say instead.
1) “Please like me”
We all want to be liked, but when you make it too obvious, it can have the opposite effect.
Socially awkward people sometimes try too hard to win approval, constantly seeking reassurance or forcing enthusiasm in a way that feels unnatural.
Phrases like “I hope you don’t think I’m weird” or “I just really want us to be friends” can come across as needy rather than genuine.
The problem is that desperation pushes people away. Confidence, on the other hand, draws them in. Instead of over-explaining yourself or begging for validation, focus on being present in the conversation.
Let connections happen naturally rather than trying to force them.
2) “Sorry for being so annoying”
I used to say this all the time—way more than I should have.
Any time I texted someone twice, shared an opinion, or even just took up space in a conversation, I’d immediately follow it up with, “Sorry, I’m probably being super annoying.”
I thought it would make me seem polite and self-aware, but instead, it just made me look insecure.
The truth is, most people aren’t thinking about whether you’re annoying them—until you bring it up. Constantly apologizing for your presence makes it seem like you don’t believe you’re worth people’s time. And if you don’t believe it, why should they?
Instead of assuming you’re bothering people, try to engage in conversations without second-guessing yourself. If someone truly finds you annoying, they’ll show it through their actions—not because you imagined it.
3) “I promise I’m not weird”
The more you try to convince people of something, the less they believe it.
When someone says, “I promise I’m not weird” or “I swear I’m normal,” it actually has the opposite effect. Instead of reassuring others, it makes them wonder why you feel the need to say it in the first place.
Confident people don’t go around proving they’re normal—they just are.
In psychology, there’s something called the illusory truth effect, which means that when people hear something repeated enough times, they start to believe it. So if you keep telling others that you might be weird, awkward, or socially off, they might just start to agree with you.
Rather than over-explaining yourself, let your personality speak for itself. People will decide what they think of you based on how you act—not how much you try to prove you’re normal.
4) “Do you hate me?”
Nothing makes a conversation more uncomfortable than being asked, “Do you hate me?”
Socially awkward people sometimes fear they’re annoying or upsetting others, so they look for reassurance. But asking outright if someone dislikes you puts them in an awkward position—especially if they weren’t even thinking about it in the first place.
Most people don’t spend their time secretly hating others. And if someone does have an issue with you, asking this question won’t fix it. Instead, it can make you seem insecure and overly self-conscious, which can create unnecessary tension in your relationships.
If you’re worried about how someone feels about you, focus on their actions instead of searching for verbal reassurance. If they continue talking to you, hanging out, and engaging with you, that’s a good enough sign that they don’t secretly despise you.
5) “Just checking in…”
There’s nothing wrong with following up, but when you do it too often, it can start to feel desperate.
Phrases like “Just checking in!” or “Did you get my last message?” can come across as needy, especially if the person hasn’t had a chance to respond yet.
While you might just be looking for an answer, repeated follow-ups can make it seem like you’re anxiously waiting for their attention.
People get busy. They forget to reply. It doesn’t always mean they’re ignoring you on purpose. Instead of checking in too soon, give them time to respond on their own.
And if they don’t? Take the hint and move on.
Confidence isn’t about chasing people down—it’s about knowing your own value, even when someone doesn’t respond right away.
6) “I’ll take whatever I can get”
No one deserves to feel like they have to beg for someone’s time, attention, or affection.
When socially awkward people feel insecure in their relationships, they might say things like, “I know you’re really busy, but even five minutes would mean so much,” or “I don’t care if you cancel on me—I’ll take whatever I can get.”
While it might seem like a way to be understanding, it actually sends the message that you don’t see yourself as worthy of someone’s full attention.
Healthy relationships—whether friendships, romantic connections, or even professional ones—aren’t built on scraps of time and effort. They’re built on mutual respect and genuine interest.
You don’t have to settle for the bare minimum just to keep someone around. The right people will want to be with you—not just when it’s convenient for them, but because they truly value your presence.
7) “I know I’m not good enough”
It’s hard to connect with people when you’ve already decided you don’t deserve to.
Saying things like, “You probably have cooler friends than me,” or “I know I’m not as interesting as other people,” might feel like honesty, but it actually makes others uncomfortable.
No one wants to be put in the position of constantly reassuring someone that they are, in fact, good enough.
What’s worse is that when you keep saying these things, people start to believe them—not because they’re true, but because confidence (or the lack of it) is contagious.
The way you talk about yourself shapes how others see you.
If you act like you’re not worth much, some people will take your word for it. But if you carry yourself like you belong—like you’re already enough—you’ll be surprised how many people start to see it too.
8) “I know this is a stupid question, but…”
The way you frame your words affects how people respond to you. And when you start a sentence by putting yourself down, others will subconsciously take your lead.
Saying things like, “This is probably a dumb question…” or “I know this might be annoying, but…” weakens what you’re about to say before you’ve even said it. It tells people that your thoughts aren’t valuable—even when they are.
The truth is, most questions aren’t stupid. And most things aren’t annoying unless they’re repeated over and over again. By constantly apologizing or diminishing your own words, you train others to see them as less important too.
Instead, just ask the question. Say what you need to say. You don’t have to prove that your thoughts are worth hearing—they already are.
9) “Please don’t leave me”
Few things push people away faster than the fear of being abandoned.
When someone constantly says things like, “Promise you won’t forget about me” or “You’re not going to leave me like everyone else, right?” it puts pressure on the other person to constantly prove their loyalty.
Instead of strengthening the relationship, it creates tension—because no one wants to feel responsible for someone else’s sense of security.
The more you cling, the more people pull away. Healthy relationships aren’t built on fear; they’re built on trust. When you believe in your own worth, you won’t have to beg people to stay. The right ones will choose to, all on their own.
Bottom line: Confidence is quieter than you think
Social interaction isn’t just about the words we say—it’s about the energy behind them.
Desperation often stems from a fear of rejection, but ironically, that fear can make rejection more likely. People are naturally drawn to those who seem secure in themselves, not those who constantly seek validation.
This means that confidence isn’t about being the smartest, funniest, or most interesting person in the room. It’s about believing you belong there in the first place.
You don’t have to prove your worth through words. The less you try to convince others that you’re likable, the more they’ll believe it on their own.
