People who grew up with overbearing parents often display these 6 behaviors

If your folks were the controlling sort, it’s likely you know what it’s like to feel smothered. If they were always on your case, chances are you’ve experienced the frustration of constant scrutiny.

That’s the reality for those raised by overbearing parents. Understanding this dynamic isn’t just about childhood nostalgia, though.

It’s a critical step towards understanding how such upbringing shapes who we are as adults.

So, let’s shine a light on this topic. Many who’ve grown up with overbearing parents often exhibit these six distinct behaviors.

Some might surprise you, but they’re all part of the fascinating human puzzle that we’re all trying to piece together.

1) Perfectionism is their middle name

Overbearing parents often set high standards, don’t they?

They push, demand, and expect their children to excel in everything.

As a result, those who grew up under such pressure often develop a strong need for perfection. They believe that they must be flawless, not just for themselves but to fulfill their parents’ expectations.

It’s not about being the best they can be. It’s about being the best, period.

And this kind of mindset doesn’t just vanish once they step into adulthood. It sticks around and becomes a constant companion. They feel the need to perfect every aspect of their lives, from their career to their relationships.

But it’s not all doom and gloom. This drive can also lead to great achievements and success. It’s a double-edged sword, really. Challenging yet potentially rewarding.

Overbearing parents may have planted the seeds of perfectionism, but it’s up to these individuals to cultivate it into something positive.

2) Independence is a struggle

Isn’t it strange how you can crave something so much and yet find it utterly terrifying at the same time?

For me, that was independence. Growing up, my parents had a say in everything – from the clothes I wore to the friends I hung out with.

It wasn’t really about rebellion; it was about wanting space to make my own decisions.

But when I finally moved out and got a place of my own, I was overwhelmed by the freedom. I mean, who knew choosing what to eat for dinner could be so hard?

This is a common struggle for those of us raised by overbearing parents. We crave independence, but when we get it, we’re like deer caught in the headlights.

It’s a whole new world, and navigating through it can be quite the challenge.

But every step, every stumble, is part of our journey to self-discovery and autonomy. It’s scary and exciting all at once – much like riding a roller coaster with your eyes wide open.

3) They often become people-pleasers

Growing up with overbearing parents can feel like walking on thin ice. One wrong move, and you’re in for a cold dip.

Consequently, many of us learn to keep the peace by constantly striving to meet our parents’ expectations and avoiding conflict at all costs.

This behavior often carries into adulthood, transforming us into people-pleasers. We tend to go out of our way to avoid upsetting others, even if it means compromising our own needs and desires.

According to a study, people-pleasers are more likely to feel burdened by the potential guilt of saying “no”, leading them to overcommit and experience higher levels of stress.

It’s important to remember that it’s okay to prioritize yourself sometimes. You’re not obligated to set yourself on fire to keep others warm.

4) They struggle with self-esteem

Growing up under constant scrutiny can take a toll on your self-esteem. When your every move is dissected and criticized, it’s easy to start doubting yourself.

Your self-worth becomes tied to your ability to meet the high standards set by your parents.

As adults, this often translates into a lingering feeling of inadequacy, no matter how much we achieve. We may find ourselves constantly seeking validation, and the fear of failure can become paralyzing.

But remember, self-esteem isn’t something that’s handed to you; it’s something you build within yourself. It may be a hard climb, but the view from the top is worth it.

5) They often crave structure

I remember growing up with a rigid schedule. There was always a specific time for homework, for chores, for play, and for sleep. My parents believed it was the best way to instill discipline and responsibility in me.

Fast forward to today, and I can’t seem to shake off that need for structure. It’s like an old habit that has followed me into adulthood.

I find comfort in plans, in knowing what’s coming next. It gives me a sense of control and predictability.

Many of us raised by overbearing parents can relate to this. We crave structure because it was such a significant part of our upbringing.

But it’s also because it helps us navigate the uncertainty that comes with life. After all, having a plan is reassuring, even if life doesn’t always stick to it.

6) They’re surprisingly resilient

You might expect people raised by overbearing parents to crumble under pressure, given their upbringing.

But quite the opposite is often true. The constant need to meet high expectations and navigate a strict environment can actually forge a tenacious spirit.

This resilience isn’t about being unbreakable; it’s about bouncing back when you do break. It’s about learning to face challenges head-on, dusting yourself off when you fall, and continuously striving to do better.

Ironically, the very pressure that seemed suffocating during childhood often serves as the spark that ignites this resilience. It’s not about glorifying the struggle, but acknowledging the strength that comes from it.

Final thoughts

If you’ve journeyed with me this far, hopefully, you’ve gained a deeper understanding of the complex tapestry that forms those of us who grew up with overbearing parents.

This isn’t about blame or resentment. It’s about acknowledging our past and recognizing its impact on our present.

It’s about understanding that our upbringing, no matter how challenging, has shaped us into who we are today.

But remember, while our past influences us, it doesn’t define us. We are not just products of overbearing parents. We are individuals capable of growth, change, and resilience. And in that lies our strength.

As the renowned psychologist Carl Rogers once said, “The only person who is educated is the one who has learned how to learn and change.”

So let’s take these insights as stepping stones towards better understanding ourselves and others.

Growing up with overbearing parents might have been tough, but it’s brought out qualities in us that make us uniquely strong and empathetic.

It’s a testament to our resilience and adaptability as human beings.

So here’s to embracing our past, cherishing our present, and looking forward to a future of continued growth and self-discovery.

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