It’s a universal truth – people change as they age. But sometimes, these changes can make them a tad difficult to be around. And the worst part? They usually don’t even realize they’re doing it.
This shift in behavior isn’t always intentional. Often, it’s a result of years of habit and life experiences. But that doesn’t make it any less frustrating for those around them.
In this article, we’ll delve into the 7 common behaviors that can make people harder to tolerate as they get older.
The aim?
To help you identify these patterns in your own behavior or in those around you – and hopefully, make aging a bit more harmonious for everyone involved.
1) Constant reminiscing
As people age, it’s natural to reflect on the past. After all, they’ve lived through decades of experiences. But sometimes, this reminiscing can become excessive.
An older person may constantly talk about “the good old days”, often to the point where it feels like they’re living in the past instead of the present. This can be frustrating for those around them, who are trying to engage with them in the here and now.
The problem isn’t reminiscing itself – it’s when it becomes the default mode of conversation. When every discussion ends up being a trip down memory lane, it can start to feel like you’re never truly seen or heard.
Remember, it’s not usually intentional. Most people don’t realize they’re doing this. It’s just a habit they’ve fallen into over the years.
The key is awareness – recognizing this pattern can help in addressing it before it turns into a major issue.
2) Resistance to change
Change is a part of life, but as we get older, it can become harder to accept. I’ve noticed this in my own family, especially with my grandfather.
My grandpa has always been a creature of habit. He likes things the way they are and sees no reason to change. This became particularly apparent when we tried to introduce him to smartphones.
He had been using the same old flip phone for ages and it was time for an upgrade. But he resisted, insisting that his old phone worked just fine.
Despite our attempts to show him the benefits of a smartphone – like video calls with his grandchildren and easy access to news – he remained stubborn. His refusal to adapt was frustrating for us all.
This resistance to change, while understandable, can become intolerable over time. It can hinder communication and create unnecessary tensions.
People usually don’t realize they’re being resistant. They believe they’re just sticking to what they know and trust. Understanding this can help in addressing the issue with patience and empathy.
3) Increasing negativity
As people age, they tend to see the glass as half empty rather than half full. This isn’t just a stereotype, it’s actually backed by research.
This negativity can manifest in various ways – from constantly criticizing others to always expecting the worst in every situation. It can be draining for those around them and create an environment of pessimism.
Again, most people don’t realize they’re doing this. They might just see it as being realistic or cautious. Recognizing this behavioral pattern is the first step towards addressing it and fostering a more positive outlook.
4) Monopolizing conversations
Communication is a two-way street. But sometimes, as people get older, they can start to monopolize conversations without even realizing it.
This could involve never letting others get a word in, always steering the conversation back to themselves, or not showing interest in what others have to say. This behavior can make others feel unheard and undervalued, leading to strained relationships.
It’s important to remember that this isn’t usually done out of malice. Often, it’s a subconscious habit developed over time. Awareness and conscious effort to listen more and talk less can help balance the scales of conversation.
5) Lack of adaptability
Adapting to new situations or ideas can be challenging for anyone, but it tends to become even more difficult as people age.
I remember when my mother moved into a smaller apartment after retiring. She had been living in the same house for decades and found it incredibly hard to adjust to her new surroundings.
She would often express her discomfort and longing for her old home. She struggled with the new layout, missed her old neighbors, and couldn’t get used to the quieter atmosphere. Her lack of adaptability made the transition harder not just for her, but for everyone involved.
While it’s natural to struggle with significant changes, an inability to adapt can make people harder to be around.
It’s essential to understand that this is usually not a deliberate choice but a challenge that comes with aging. With patience and understanding, you can help them navigate these changes more smoothly.
6) Stubbornness
Everyone can be stubborn at times, but with age, some people tend to become increasingly set in their ways. They may refuse to try new things, insist on doing things their way, or be unwilling to compromise.
This stubbornness can make it difficult to work with them on projects, plan activities, or even have productive discussions. It can create unnecessary conflicts and make interactions stressful.
This behavior usually stems from a place of fear or uncertainty. They might feel threatened by new ideas or changes and respond by digging their heels in. Understanding this can help in dealing with such behavior more effectively.
7) Ignoring boundaries
Respecting personal space and boundaries is a fundamental aspect of any relationship.
However, as people age, they sometimes start to ignore these boundaries. They may offer unsolicited advice, invade personal spaces, or ask inappropriate questions, all without realizing the discomfort they are causing.
This behavior can strain relationships and make interactions with them awkward and stressful. It’s crucial to communicate openly about these boundaries and remind them gently when they overstep.
Remember, it’s not about blaming them but helping them understand how their actions affect others.
Final thought: It’s about understanding
The complexities of human behavior, particularly as we age, are deeply rooted in the tapestry of our life experiences and habits.
A famous quote by Carl Jung, a Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, sheds light on this aspect: “We cannot change anything until we accept it. Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses.”
The behaviors that make people harder to be around as they age are often unconscious results of their life journey. Understanding this is key to fostering patience and empathy when dealing with them.
Remember, it’s not about blaming them or labeling them as intolerable. It’s about recognizing these behavioral patterns, communicating effectively, and helping them navigate the changes that come with aging.
After all, we’re all on the same journey, just at different stages. And one day, we might find ourselves in their shoes.
