There’s a fine line between being open and oversharing. And there’s no quicker way to lose someone’s respect than by crossing that line.
Speaking about certain topics can sometimes make people uncomfortable, and can even lead to them losing respect for you. Yes, it’s a harsh reality, but it’s a reality nonetheless.
Being respected by others is about more than just what you do, it’s also about the words that come out of your mouth.
And if you want to earn and keep the respect of others, there are some topics that are best left unsaid.
Now let me tell you about these seven things you should never talk about if you want to be respected by other people.
1) Your personal grievances
We all have our own share of grievances and life isn’t always a bed of roses. But there’s a time and place to voice these grievances.
Constantly complaining or talking about your problems can be off-putting to others.
It may make them feel that you’re using them as a sounding board for your issues, rather than engaging in a mutually beneficial conversation.
It’s okay to share your feelings and concerns sometimes, but it’s crucial to strike a balance. When you show that you can handle your problems with grace and resilience, it commands respect.
Remember, the goal is not to suppress your feelings or pretend everything is perfect. It’s about being mindful of the effect your words can have on those around you.
And if you want to be respected, it’s best to avoid over-sharing your personal grievances.
2) Financial exploits
I remember a time when I was at a social gathering, and a friend started to boast about his recent financial exploits.
He relished in sharing the details about his high income, his luxurious car, and the expensive holidays he had been on.
Now, there’s nothing wrong with being successful and enjoying the fruits of your labor. But there’s a subtle difference between sharing your success and flaunting your wealth.
The more my friend talked about his financial exploits, the more uncomfortable the room became. People started to feel inadequate, even though they were successful in their own right.
From that day forward, I made a mental note to myself: never talk about money in a boastful or ostentatious way. It’s one thing to be proud of your accomplishments, but another to make others feel less because of them.
If you want to be respected by others, it’s better to let your actions speak for themselves. Show people your worth through your character and behavior, not by flaunting your wealth or achievements.
3) Negative views about others
Gossip and negativity can spread like wildfire, often causing more harm than good.
A study found that people who gossip and speak negatively about others are viewed as less likable and trustworthy.
When we talk poorly about others, it reflects more on our character than on the person we’re discussing. It suggests that we might also speak negatively about the person we’re talking to when they’re not around.
If you want to be respected by others, it’s crucial to show respect towards everyone, even those who aren’t present.
Instead of engaging in gossip or negative talk, try promoting positive conversation and showing empathy towards others.
This approach not only earns you respect but also fosters a more positive environment around you.
4) Controversial opinions
We all have our own beliefs and opinions, and that’s what makes us unique. But there’s a thin line between sharing your views and imposing them on others.
You might feel strongly about certain controversial topics, such as politics or religion. While it’s important to stand up for what you believe in, it’s equally important to respect the beliefs of others.
Discussing these topics can often lead to heated arguments, which rarely end well.
If you want to maintain respect in your relationships, it’s best to avoid forcing your opinions on others or engaging in debates that have the potential to cause conflict.
Instead, aim to create a dialogue where everyone feels heard and respected. There’s a difference between a healthy debate and an argument; knowing this difference can earn you the respect of others.
5) Past failures
I once found myself in a situation where I was constantly ruminating on my past failures and mistakes.
I would bring them up in conversations, using them as self-deprecating humor or as a way to explain why I was the way I was.
What I didn’t realize was how this habit was impacting the way others saw me. It wasn’t that they thought less of me because of my past failures.
But by constantly bringing them up, I was painting a picture of myself as someone who couldn’t move on and grow.
Over time, I learned to accept my past, learn from it, and focus more on my present growth and future aspirations. By doing so, I noticed a significant shift in the respect I received from others.
While it’s important to acknowledge our past mistakes and learn from them, dwelling on them can prevent us from moving forward.
If you want to gain respect from others, focus on showing them your growth and resilience instead of lingering on past failures.
6) Personal secrets
Trust is a key component of any relationship, whether it’s personal or professional. And one of the fastest ways to break that trust is by sharing personal secrets.
Sharing a secret that was entrusted to you can immediately damage your credibility and the respect others have for you.
Conversely, revealing your own deep secrets to just anyone may make you appear indiscreet and can leave you vulnerable to gossip or betrayal.
It’s important to consider the context and the person you’re talking to before divulging sensitive information.
Being able to keep a secret, both yours and others’, signifies trustworthiness and integrity, qualities that command respect.
7) Unsolicited advice
Offering advice when it’s not asked for can often come across as condescending or intrusive.
It might give an impression that you believe you know better, which can undermine the respect others have for you. Instead, try to lend a listening ear and offer support.
When advice is needed, people are more likely to ask for it themselves. Being respectful of others’ autonomy is key to earning their respect in return.
Final thoughts: The power of words
The impact of our words on others is often more profound than we realize. They have the capacity to shape perceptions, influence feelings, and determine the level of respect we receive from those around us.
Author and motivational speaker, Zig Ziglar once famously said, “You never know when a moment and a few sincere words can have an impact on a life.”
This rings especially true when it comes to the topics we choose to discuss in our conversations.
By being mindful of the seven topics outlined in this article, we can navigate our conversations more effectively, fostering a sense of respect and mutual understanding.
As we continue our journey towards personal growth and better communication, let’s remember: sometimes, what we choose not to say can be just as important as what we do say.
This realization can be a powerful tool in earning the respect of others.
After all, respect is not just about how others perceive you – it’s about how you present yourself to the world.
