If someone interrupts you mid-sentence, it’s pretty clear they lack some social finesse. If someone constantly talks about themselves, you know they’re a bit self-centered.
Those are the easy signs.
But sometimes, the clues to someone’s social skills aren’t that obvious.
They might be hidden in the topics they choose to discuss. In fact, there are 8 conversation subjects that are dead giveaways of below-average social skills.
Now, don’t get me wrong. We all slip up and say the wrong thing sometimes.
But individuals who routinely bring up these topics? Well, let’s just say their social game could use a little work.
Let’s dive into this list, shall we? Prepare yourself: you might just discover that your awkward coworker or that chatty neighbor isn’t just quirky – they may be socially inept.
1) Personal problems
We all have our fair share of issues.
Sometimes, it’s a disagreement with a coworker or a fight with a friend.
Maybe it’s stress about finances or anxiety over an upcoming project.
And yes, there’s a time and place for sharing these things – like when you’re speaking to a confidante or seeking advice from someone you trust.
But here’s the thing: people with below-average social skills often have a hard time recognizing when it’s appropriate to discuss their personal problems.
They might start sharing their woes with a casual acquaintance or even a stranger they’ve just met.
Suddenly, you’re not just making small talk over coffee – you’re their impromptu therapist.
See, healthy conversation is a two-way street, based on mutual sharing and understanding.
But when someone starts unloading their personal problems without any regard for the listener’s comfort level?
Well, let’s just say it’s not exactly the makings of a pleasant chat.
2) Controversial topics
Ever had one of those conversations where you’re casually chatting about the weather, when out of nowhere, the person you’re talking to launches into a heated debate about politics or religion?
Trust me, I’ve been there.
I remember once, I was at a party enjoying some light conversation with a new acquaintance.
Suddenly, he started discussing a highly controversial political topic, arguing his point passionately.
Now, there’s nothing wrong with having strong beliefs. But his insistence on turning a casual conversation into a serious debate was uncomfortable, to say the least.
It felt like he was more interested in proving his point than in having an enjoyable conversation with me.
It was a clear signal that he didn’t quite understand the unwritten rules of social interaction.
It’s these kinds of experiences that taught me: people who regularly bring up controversial topics in casual conversations?
They probably have below-average social skills.
3) Gossip
Gossip can be juicy, it can be entertaining, and it can certainly make for an interesting conversation.
But did you know that people who frequently indulge in gossip are often perceived as less trustworthy?
That’s because gossip is essentially talking about someone behind their back, which isn’t exactly a trait most of us admire. It’s a breach of trust and a violation of social norms.
When someone consistently brings up gossip in a conversation, it’s a clear sign they lack some social skills.
They’re focused more on the thrill of sharing secretive information than on building meaningful and respectful connections with others.
Sure, it might make for a momentarily entertaining chat, but it doesn’t do much in terms of fostering genuine relationships.
And that’s what good social skills are all about, aren’t they?
4) Negative comments about others
Imagine you’re having a conversation with someone and they constantly make negative remarks about other people.
It’s not a pleasant experience, is it?
Individuals who frequently criticize or belittle others during conversations are often displaying below-average social skills.
They may think they’re coming off as witty or observant, but in reality, they’re just creating an uncomfortable atmosphere.
This kind of conversation doesn’t encourage mutual respect or understanding. Instead, it fosters negativity and can make the other person feel uneasy.
After all, if they’re talking about others this way, what might they say about you when you’re not around?
Consistent negativity about others doesn’t build bridges in social interactions – it burns them. And that’s a clear indication of poor social skills.
5) Money
I don’t know about you, but I find it quite awkward when someone starts talking about their finances in a casual conversation.
It’s one thing to discuss money matters with a close friend or family member, but it’s quite another to bring it up with someone you barely know.
I remember running into an old schoolmate at a social event.
We hadn’t spoken in years, but within minutes of our conversation, he began talking about his salary, how much he paid for his new car, and the cost of his recent vacation.
It was uncomfortable and unnecessary. I mean, we were just catching up, not comparing tax returns.
His focus on money didn’t make him seem successful; instead, it made him seem socially inept.
It’s simple: if someone frequently talks about their finances in casual conversations, they’re likely missing some basic social cues.
6) Silence
You might think that someone with below-average social skills would be the one dominating the conversation, but that’s not always the case. Sometimes, it’s the complete opposite.
People who struggle to contribute to a conversation, who meet your comments with silence or minimal responses, are also displaying signs of poor social skills.
It’s not about being shy or introverted; it’s about failing to engage in the give-and-take that makes a conversation flow naturally.
A conversation is like a dance – it requires both parties to participate.
If someone consistently leaves you carrying the burden of the conversation, it’s a clear sign they’re missing some basic social skills.
Just like talking too much can be off-putting, so can saying too little.
7) Their achievements
We all like to share our accomplishments from time to time.
It feels good to be recognized for our hard work and achievements. But there’s a fine line between sharing and bragging.
People who constantly talk about their achievements, who turn every conversation into an opportunity to boast about their accomplishments, are often lacking in social skills.
It’s not that they’re necessarily arrogant. Often, they’re just unaware of how their need to constantly self-promote comes across to others.
They might think they’re impressing people, but in reality, they’re likely making others feel uncomfortable or bored.
A conversation is not a competition. It’s a cooperative effort where both parties share and listen equally.
Constant self-promotion disrupts this balance and is a clear sign of below-average social skills.
8) Inappropriate jokes or comments
There’s nothing like a good laugh to lighten the mood and bring people closer.
But when someone consistently makes inappropriate or offensive jokes, it can do just the opposite.
These types of comments can quickly turn a pleasant conversation into an uncomfortable situation.
It’s not about being overly sensitive or politically correct; it’s about respecting others’ boundaries and creating a positive atmosphere.
People who frequently make inappropriate comments or jokes are often unaware of how their words affect others, indicating a lack of social awareness.
Good humor brings people together; bad humor drives them apart.
The ability to discern between the two is a critical social skill.
Reflecting on social skills
When you think about it, social skills aren’t just about making good conversation.
They’re about creating a space where everyone feels comfortable, respected, and heard.
It’s about recognizing when it’s time to share, and when it’s time to listen. It’s about knowing which topics are appropriate for a given situation, and which ones might make others uncomfortable.
In essence, it’s about empathy – the ability to put ourselves in someone else’s shoes and consider how our words and actions might affect them.
If someone is constantly bringing up these 8 topics in conversation, it doesn’t necessarily mean they’re a bad person.
It just means they might need a bit more practice in empathy and social awareness.
Because at the end of the day, isn’t that what we all want?
To understand and be understood, to respect and be respected.
And maybe, just maybe, our conversations are the perfect place to start.
