There’s a fine line between wanting love and blocking it entirely.
The difference is all about behavior. Some actions can push love away, even when we’re not conscious of it.
In the quest for real, authentic love, there are certain behaviors that can be your own worst enemy. And believe me, recognizing these patterns can make all the difference.
Here are some behaviors to watch out for if you’re seeking genuine love.
That’s what you’ll find in this article titled “8 behaviors of people who will never find real, authentic love”. So stick around, you might just learn something about yourself.
1) Ignoring personal growth
Real, authentic love can’t be found in a vacuum. It needs a fertile ground of personal growth and self-understanding.
And the people who are often stuck in a loveless rut? They’re the ones who neglect this vital aspect.
Consider this. When you’re not growing as a person, you’re not only stunting your own potential but also your capacity to understand others.
And understanding is key when it comes to love.
Imagine being in a relationship where you’re not evolving. It’s like being stuck in a perpetual loop, repeating the same mistakes and expecting different results.
If you’re aiming for genuine love, the first step is to invest in yourself. Learn new things, explore new ideas, and most importantly, understand your strengths and weaknesses better.
Love isn’t just about finding the right person. It’s also about being the right person. And that starts with personal growth.
Stop growing and you might just stop finding real love.
2) Holding onto past baggage
We all have past experiences that shape us. But the trouble starts when we let these experiences define our future.
Let me share a personal story. I once dated someone who was perpetually stuck in the past.
Every argument, every disagreement, somehow linked back to their past relationships. It was like dating a ghost of someone else’s mistakes.
This constant dwelling on past hurts and failures created an invisible barrier.
It stopped us from truly understanding each other and building something real and authentic.
If you’re wondering why you’re not finding real love, take a moment to reflect. Are you still dragging your past into your present?
Letting go isn’t easy, but it’s necessary if you want to make room for authentic love. It’s about learning from the past, but not letting it dictate your future.
Every person you meet is not a reflection of your ex or anyone who has hurt you in the past. Give them, and yourself, a genuine chance at love.
3) Fear of vulnerability
Vulnerability is the birthplace of connection. It’s where deep, meaningful bonds are formed.
Being vulnerable can be terrifying. It’s like handing someone a roadmap to hurt you.
But it’s also a way to show someone who you truly are, beyond the surface.
If you’re finding it hard to expose your true self in a relationship, it might be the reason why you’re struggling to find authentic love.
Peel back those layers. Allow yourself to be seen for who you truly are.
It’s scary, but it can also lead to the kind of love that’s real and enduring.
4) Lack of self-love
Before you can truly love someone else, you must first love yourself. This isn’t just a catchy phrase, it’s a fundamental truth of human relationships.
Self-love isn’t about being narcissistic or self-obsessed. It’s about acknowledging your worth and understanding that you deserve happiness and love.
When you lack self-love, it often leads to settling for less than you deserve. It makes you susceptible to toxicity and negativity, as you may believe that’s all you’re worthy of.
On the other hand, when you love yourself, you set standards for how you want to be treated.
You understand your value and are less likely to tolerate behavior that undermines it.
If authentic love seems out of reach, start with loving yourself. It might just be the key to unlocking the love you’ve been searching for.
5) Not being open to new experiences
Life is a beautiful, ever-changing tapestry of experiences. And love, in all its authentic glory, is woven from these very threads.
But what happens when we close ourselves off to new experiences? We limit our own chances of finding real love.
Love isn’t always where we expect it. It might be hidden in that blind date your friend set up, or in that hobby you’ve been meaning to try.
It could be waiting in a different city, country, or even on a different path than you’ve always imagined for yourself.
Being open to new experiences means stepping out of your comfort zone.
It means embracing the unknown with open arms and an open heart.
If you’re wondering why love hasn’t found you yet, ask yourself this – are you truly open to the infinite possibilities life has to offer?
Authentic love is adventurous.
Don’t close yourself off. Open up, embrace the unexpected and let love find its way to you.
6) Fearing loneliness
Sometimes, the fear of being alone can be so overpowering, it pushes us into the arms of the wrong person.
I’ve been there. I clung onto a relationship that was clearly not right for me, simply because I was terrified of being single.
I allowed the fear of loneliness to cloud my judgement and prevent me from seeking authentic love.
This fear can make us settle for less than we deserve. It can make us overlook red flags and ignore our gut instincts, all in the name of not being alone.
But here’s a truth I’ve learned – being alone is far better than being in a relationship where you feel lonely, unappreciated or unloved.
If you’re constantly jumping from one relationship to another just to avoid being single, you might be blocking your path to finding real love.
Take some time to be alone, understand yourself better, and learn to enjoy your own company.
Because only when we are comfortable with our own solitude can we truly be ready for companionship.
7) Being overly critical
We all have our preferences and standards when it comes to love. But there’s a stark difference between having standards and being overly critical.
Being overly critical can push love away. It’s like holding up a magnifying glass to someone’s flaws and imperfections, ignoring all their positive traits in the process.
No one is perfect, and expecting perfection from your partner is a recipe for disappointment.
Instead, focus on their strengths, the things that make them unique, the things you love about them.
Being overly critical can also reflect a deeper issue – a lack of acceptance.
Acceptance is key in a relationship, it’s about loving someone for who they are, not who you want them to be.
So if you’re wondering why real love seems elusive, it might be worth reflecting on your own attitudes.
Are you leaving room for acceptance? Or are you pushing people away with constant criticism?
Love is about embracing imperfections, not magnifying them.
8) Not believing in love
Perhaps the most significant barrier to finding real, authentic love is not believing in it.
Love, in all its forms, requires faith. It’s about believing in the possibility of a connection that’s deep, meaningful, and transcendent.
If you’re skeptical about love, if you think it’s just a fairytale or a fleeting feeling, you might be creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. You might be closing yourself off to the very thing you seek.
Believing in love doesn’t mean having unrealistic expectations or dreaming of a Hollywood-style romance.
It means understanding and accepting that love is real, it’s flawed, it’s beautiful, and above all, it’s possible.
If you’re searching for authentic love and can’t seem to find it, ask yourself this – do you truly believe in love? Because often, we only find what we believe exists.
Final thoughts: Love is a journey
At the core of our human existence is the universal quest for love. It’s a journey filled with trials, triumphs, lessons, and growth.
According to Dr. Helen Fisher, a renowned anthropologist and human behavior researcher, love isn’t merely a second-hand emotion or a sweet old-fashioned notion.
It’s an “ancient, primordial, brain system” that plays a crucial role in our survival as a species.
This powerful force has the capacity to bring us profound happiness and fulfillment.
But it also requires us, in return, to peel back our layers of fear, insecurity, and judgment.
As we navigate this journey towards authentic love, it’s worth reflecting on our own behaviors and attitudes.
Are we fostering an environment where love can flourish? Or are we unwittingly standing in our own way?
In this quest for love, remember that it all starts with you. With self-love, personal growth, and the courage to be vulnerable.
Authentic love finds its way to those who are open to receive it, those who believe in its power and existence.
As you journey on, remember – love is not just something we find, it’s something we cultivate within ourselves and share with others.
