It’s a thin line between being assertive and being narcissistic.
Narcissism goes beyond mere assertiveness; it often involves belittling others subtly to elevate oneself.
A narcissist doesn’t always use blatant insults to undermine you. Often, they employ subtle phrases to imply that you’re inferior.
Knowing these phrases is the first step towards understanding and dealing with narcissistic behavior.
Let’s delve into the 7 subtle phrases a narcissist will use to communicate that you’re beneath them.
1) “I knew you wouldn’t understand”
Navigating the labyrinth of narcissistic communication is no easy task.
A textbook narcissist often relies on subtle belittlement to assert their superiority.
A common phrase they might use is “I knew you wouldn’t understand”. This seemingly innocent statement is actually a covert insult, implying that your intellectual capacities are beneath them.
This phrase is not about your inability to comprehend, but about their need for dominance and superiority.
Becoming aware of these subtle digs can help you better manage interactions with a narcissist. Remember, it’s not about you; it’s about their relentless need to feel superior.
2) “If I were you…”
Another phrase narcissists often use to subtly imply your inferiority is “If I were you…”.
They use this phrase to offer unsolicited advice, insinuating that their way of doing things is superior.
I remember a time when a former colleague would constantly use this phrase. For instance, when I was planning my vacation, they would say, “If I were you, I wouldn’t waste time on such places.” It took me a while to understand that this was their way of implying their choices and preferences were superior to mine.
It’s essential to understand that this isn’t about the advice itself; it’s about making themselves feel superior by subtly undermining your decisions.
3) “You’re too sensitive”
The phrase “You’re too sensitive” is a classic tool in the narcissist’s arsenal.
By labeling you as overly sensitive, they shift the blame onto you for any negative emotions you might feel due to their behavior. It’s a manipulation technique called gaslighting.
Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse where the abuser makes the victim question their own reality. In fact, it’s named after a 1944 film, “Gaslight”, where a man manipulates his wife into believing she’s going insane.
When a narcissist tells you that you’re too sensitive, they’re not only belittling your feelings but also gaslighting you into questioning your emotional responses.
4) “I’m not being mean, I’m just being honest”
Narcissists have a knack for serving harsh criticism or insults under the guise of brutal honesty.
The phrase “I’m not being mean, I’m just being honest” is one such tactic. It allows them to say something hurtful while framing it as a noble trait of honesty.
In reality, it’s a way for them to disguise their need to belittle others and maintain their perceived superiority. They are not sharing these ‘truths’ for your benefit but rather to make themselves feel better.
Recognizing these subtle phrases can help you better understand the dynamics at play when interacting with a narcissist.
5) “You always…” or “You never…”
Narcissists often resort to using absolutes like “You always…” or “You never…” to place blame and undermine your confidence.
I recall a time in my life when I was constantly hearing phrases like, “You never take my advice” or “You always forget important dates”. It made me question my abilities and worth.
These phrases are not only an attempt to belittle you but also a way for the narcissist to avoid taking responsibility for their own actions or shortcomings. The goal is to make you feel inferior and them superior. Recognizing these tactics is crucial for maintaining your self-esteem in such situations.
6) “I don’t need to explain myself to you”
This phrase is a classic power play by narcissists. By refusing to explain themselves, they establish a hierarchy where they’re above justification or accountability.
When a narcissist says, “I don’t need to explain myself to you,” what they’re really communicating is that your opinion or understanding of the situation doesn’t matter to them. This dismissive attitude is a clear sign of their perceived superiority.
Understanding this can help you discern the power dynamics in your interaction and guard yourself against such manipulative behavior.
7) “You just can’t take a joke”
The phrase “You just can’t take a joke” is a common way for narcissists to belittle you while dismissing your feelings.
They use humor as a weapon, making derogatory comments or jokes at your expense. And if you react negatively, they accuse you of overreacting or lacking a sense of humor.
In reality, this is a method of disguised belittlement, aimed at undermining your self-esteem and maintaining their superiority. It’s not about the joke, it’s about making you feel small and unimportant.
